Picking up the Pieces
by Lady Callista
Summary: Everyone she loved was safe once again, but Emma knew that while the action may have ended for the moment, the healing hadn't even really begun. Two women she cared about had lost the men they loved, and she had been forced to face the fact that, once again, Killian had kept something important from her. But in that first moment her only thought was that he was okay. (post 4.11)
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Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: So "Heroes and Villains" totally should have been two hours long, because wow was there so much more I wanted to see. So, well, here it is, starting with filling in parts I wanted to see during the episode and then moving beyond it. (Cannon compliant as far as the episode goes.) Will be Captain Swan like all my stories, but will also prominently feature the rest of the main characters, and reactions and repercussions of the winter finale. (at least 5 chapters are planned) Please enjoy my version of things as we begin the long wait until March when we get to find out what actually happens next. Reviews are appreciated as always.

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 1:

For a long moment nothing existed but the object slowly falling through the air and landing in his outstretched hand.

He knew that events continued to go on around him. He registered the new voice, female and low and carrying more menace than he had thought the lass had in her. He felt the magic when they vanished, heard other voices screaming his name. He registered pounding as one or more people charged up the stairs.

But Killian registered all of this in a distant, fuzzy sort of way, the majority of his being focused on the bright, pulsing object cradled in his hand. His heart. His very heart lay in his hand, and the bloody crocodile couldn't use it to control him anymore. Couldn't use it to make him lie to Emma, to hurt her or the people she loved. Couldn't use it to make him betray everyone in this town he was slowly coming to really believe could be his home.

"You okay?"

Both the panic behind the words and the urgency of her grip on his shoulder snapped him partly out of his fugue, and he unconsciously clutched his heart closer to his chest as he looked up to meet Emma's burning green eyes.

He nodded at once, still feeling the phantom echo of pain in his chest from when the monster had begun crushing his heart. His eyes drank her in like a starving man even as he tried to form words through the dazed amazement and almost disbelief that was coursing through him.

Killian had resigned himself to death, which had been bad enough when he had been able to say an almost proper goodbye to Emma, but thinking that his lasts words to her had been a lie...he had managed to fight through the control ever so briefly, grabbing her arm, and he had seen the spark in her eyes that said she knew something was wrong, but there hadn't been enough time as the crocodile's command was forcing him to leave, and it had seemed the need of her friends to get home was urgent.

He expected she had planned to come after him once she got them home, spared an errant thought to what had brought her here in time, in time even if she hadn't been able to do anything.

He flashed back to a cascade of dark hair and grey eyes and a broken voice whispering of love as she died and he cradled her helplessly.

The helplessness he had felt that day was echoed in the voice of the woman he loved now, the fear of almost watching him die still not completely faded from her eyes. It was that pain that snapped him completely back to the here and now, and without thought he brought his hook up to skim it over her cheek. "I'm alright, love."

She trembled ever so slightly as the cool metal brushed her cheek, and he quickly pulled back, cursing inwardly more than ever that he only had one hand and he needed the one to hold his heart.

Her eyes only softened though, and Killian realized that he had misinterpreted her reaction when one of her hands came up and gripped his hook gently, returning it to her cheek. "For a second there I thought I was gonna lose you."

"Not going to happen, Swan, I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Emma let out a laugh that was mostly relief, and proving once again how well she knew him rested her other hand lightly on his wrist, her pinky just shy of touching his heart. "I don't normally do tearful reunions any more than tearful goodbyes, but under the circumstances..."

He grinned, a true grin of mirth and pure appreciation for her spunk, as he gently slid his hand down until her hand rested over his on his heart. "Then you're going to need to hold this love, at least if you want a proper reunion."

A throat gently clearing off to the side of them made Killian pull back from Emma, his eyes flicking to her mother with a start. He had seen her at the foot of the stairs with Emma earlier, but completely forgotten about her in the moments that followed.

"Sorry, I just, uh, what about Gold?" Snow truly did look apologetic about interrupting.

"I think Belle has him well in hand." Killian replied even as he disengaged from Emma, letting his heart slid into her hand so that he could take her other with his good one. He just wasn't quite ready to let go of her yet, and from the tight way she squeezed his hand it would seem she felt the same.

"I'm just worried about her doing something in anger, I mean I know she wouldn't kill him, not even sure he can be killed actually, but..." Snow trailed off, and Killian watched as something occurred to Emma and she turned to smile at her mother gently.

"She won't kill him, mom. It's different than it was with Cora, because no matter how broken she is right now she loves him." Emma said softly, "And I think at this point he deserves whatever she comes up with. He's been lying to all of us, but we knew what he was, and I don't think anyone ever trusted him fully. But she did, or she wouldn't have married him."

"And you don't even know the half of what he's done." Killian offered softly, hesitantly. He really wasn't looking forward to telling the whole story, but he had sworn to himself that if he somehow got out of this mess he would confess everything to Emma, including his own part in deceiving her back when he still had a choice.

"When?" Emma asked softly, avoiding the conversation about what Rumple was up to for the moment. He didn't pretend to misunderstand, and answered her at once.

"The night at the mansion when you decided to keep your magic. I came to try and convince you to not give it up, not only because it's who you are, but...but because I knew about the hat, and that he was actually trying to harm you." Killian said softly, "It's a long story, but he wanted to suck you and your magic into that bloody hat."

All three of them glanced down at the hat, which was once more in its box shape and again sitting on the ledge.

"I want that long story, but not right now." Emma glanced back at Killian, squeezing his hand in reassurance when he flushed and looked away. "First we need to get your heart back where it belongs."

"I'm not objecting to where it is at the moment." Even with his emotions dimmed, Killian's flirtatious smile made his eyes flash in a way Emma hadn't seen him look at her in days.

She flushed, her eyes flicking to Snow, who only smiled at her gently. "We should all get to Granny's, David already went there to rally the troops when we saw the magic coming from the clocktower. And everyone always ends up there after something like this happens anyway, so we can let everyone know what's going on. Maybe find out if anyone has seen Belle since they vanished."

"That's a good idea." Emma took a deep breath, refocusing on something other than the fact that Killian was okay. That she hadn't lost someone else she cared about. "Hopefully Regina will be there, cause she didn't cover replacing hearts in my magic lessons."

"What about that?" Snow gestured to the hat turned box, "We can't just leave it here."

"I'm guessing it's part of that long story," Emma's voice turned slightly harder as her eyes flicked to Killian, and she drew a deep breath to calm herself. "For now, just tell me if it's safe for us to take with us."

"It's safe." Killian said at once. "It's just a box without his magic activating it."

Emma's eyes flicked to her mother, the only one who had free hands, and Snow picked it up without hesitation when her daughter nodded. She immediately tucked it into her coat pocket, figuring out that until they knew the full story it was probably better that the least number of people possible knew about it.

"To Granny's?" Snow asked even as she started back down the stairs, pulling out her phone to call her husband. "I'll let David know everything's okay."

Emma nodded, carefully cradling Killian's heart against her abdomen, her other hand still tightly in his as they followed her mother.

"Swan," He kept his voice low, for her ears only. "There's so much I need to tell you, about the hat and what he... what he made me do, and...and how even before he took me heart I..."

"Later, okay?" Emma's voice wasn't unkind, but the stress of the last few days was certainly showing. "Just... I need more than a day between crises like this. And I'm kicking myself because I've thought something was wrong with you for days, but..."

"But another crisis always took precedence." There was no bitterness in his voice, because he felt none, nor was there reproach. "Don't blame yourself lass, it's not as if we lead dull lives. You've had the entire town to worry about these past days, and I wouldn't want or expect you to abandon everyone else for me, especially when you weren't even sure there was a problem."

"You're always there though, for months now you've always been there supporting me, and helping me, and... and I should have been there for you, just the fact that you weren't around like you normally are should have let me know how bad it was, because the last time you acted that way around me was when Zelena had cursed you, but it never occurred to me that it was something you physically couldn't tell me, and you've been so patient with me that I didn't want to push, and..."

"You're not to blame, love." His words were stronger this time, firmly cutting off her rambling. The very fact that she was rambling said just how shaken she had been by this, as she normally wasn't like this at all. It was like all her walls were down, and he cursed the fact that she was questioning herself over something that was completely his fault. Much like when they had used the mirror to look in on Ariel and her happy ending, she was again giving him credit when it was far from deserved. "And once you hear the full story you'll be placing that blame on me, where it belongs."

"He had your heart, it wasn't like you had a choice." Emma retorted, slowing her pace slightly as they left the building to allow her mother to get further ahead of them as they headed down the street towards the diner. "And yes, I know you said something about even before he took it, but... but just for now let's deal with one thing at a time. Let me just be happy that something was wrong with you, and I was right to trust that you weren't abandoning me. Let me be happy that you're alive, and that for the moment no one is threatening us or the town. It's... it's been one thing after another for the past months, you even pointed that out once, and..."

"And we should seize the good moments." He whispered softly, using their joined hands to pull her into a gentle embrace, both of them very conscious of the beating, pulsing heart between their bodies. "And for the record, I'll never abandon you, not if I have any choice in the matter."

Emma sighed as he whispered the final words in her ear. She was actually at the point that she believed that, had since she first told him out loud that she trusted him. Which was why she needed time, just a fraction more, before she heard the full story. She needed this feeling, this relief and trust and closeness.

He hadn't been pulling back from her of his own choice, the change she had felt in his kisses and felt in his touch and seen in his eyes had been because his heart literally wasn't in it, not because he had grown tired of her or decided his feelings for her had changed. He had been trying to warn her, in the only way he was able.

"I believe you." She whispered back, "And we will talk soon, I just want this little while to be happy. And I want your heart back in your chest before we talk, because you're just not the same without it and I at least want to see the real you."

The shame that flitted across his face made her lean up and kiss his cheek gently. "It'll be okay. Trust me, please?"

"Always have, love." He managed a small smile, their hands sliding from around each other and linking once again as they headed into Granny's.

TBC...


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Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks to all who favorited and followed, and a big thanks to those who took the time to review. Hopefully everyone will continue to enjoy. This chapter is still filling in around the episode and will remain completely cannon compliant, so I'm setting up the next episode scenes cause something like this definitely had to have happened. And if you have a moment when you're done reading, please let me know what you think -especially of the non CS scenes- most of these are characters I've never written before.

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 2:

"I'm so glad you're here, Regina." Emma sighed in relief as she and Killian entered Granny's and approached the counter. Their hands were still linked, his pulsing heart held almost reverently in her other hand.

They both stopped short as Regina spun on her stool to face them, immediately seeing the pain and despair rolling off the formerly evil queen.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Emma went on alert immediately.

"Nothing that requires your meddling, Ms. Swan." Regina's voice was curt, her gaze shifting pointedly to the heart that was so clearly not where it was meant to be. "And I hardly think my love life should be foremost in your mind at the moment."

Emma's eyes widened even as she quickly glanced around the diner, searching through the crowd of people for Robin Hood and not finding him. Her mother had told her about her conversation with Regina the other day, and Emma had been relieved that it seemed bringing Marian back from the past hadn't destroyed Regina's happy ending after all, but now... The heart in her hands pulsed as if emphasizing Regina's second sentence, and Emma put yet another thing on her 'things to deal with later' list. It was becoming a depressingly long list.

"You're not even going to ask how this happened?" Emma tried to gauge just how depressed Regina was at the moment.

Regina shrugged. "As you're calmly standing here with him, I'm guessing you fixed the situation. And I'm really not in the mood for small talk at the moment. I assume you want my help."

"Can you put it back?" Emma asked simply, her eyes flicking down to the heart and then sideways to Killian before meeting Regina's gaze again. "And maybe put that shield on it like you said you did with Henry?"

"You're perfectly capable." Regina replied. "Just hold it over his chest, call up your magic, and push. Hearts want to be where they belong; putting them back is much more simple than taking them. Just imagine it back where it should be, envision it in his chest, and see it as protected and permanent. Believe it's shielded, see it being immovable, and it will be."

"It's that easy?" Emma couldn't help the skepticism that entered her voice.

"Putting it back is easy, shielding it is harder, but your emotions still greatly influence your magic." Regina tried to sound imperious, but Emma knew her well enough to see the cracks in her composure. "Even with no training in this particular aspect, any shield you put up will be infinitely stronger than what I could do for him."

Emma heard what she thankfully didn't say, a slight blush rising to her cheeks as she realized Regina meant that her feelings for Killian were what would make a shield she cast over his heart impervious to anyone trying to steal it. She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to respond to that, when Regina spoke again.

"Should I be asking what you did to whomever stole it from him? Do we need to prepare for a counter-strike?"

Emma scoffed immediately, "No, and don't tell me you don't know exactly who did this."

"Gold." Regina replied immediately, the grief fading from her eyes briefly as she forced herself to think. Forced herself to be the queen again, the mayor, to work the problem and put her own problems aside. "He told me earlier he was going to take his happy ending, although he told me nothing of his plans, present or future. I have no idea what part the pirate's heart played in it, although I'm going to assume you here with it now means you stopped Rumpelstiltskin from doing whatever he was going to do."

"We did." Emma said simply, knowing Regina didn't care about an explanation at the moment. "I knew you would know right away that it was him. You were more skeptical about him changing than the rest of us."

Killian cleared his throat in protest, a clear _ah-hum _reminder that he had told her flat out that while he wouldn't try to kill the crocodile anymore, he would never believe he had changed or ever trust him in the slightest.

Emma rolled her eyes at him, turning back to Regina as the other woman began to speak.

"That's because I know him better than you do, but really, it wasn't that hard to figure out as he and I are the only ones in town that know how to do this - although I thought that little vendetta had been put aside. The only other option is that our town is being invaded by another force of evil."

"Don't even joke about that." Emma said at once.

"And we don't know what happened to the bloody crocodile, the last we saw of him his wife was using a very special dagger to order him to drop my heart, and then take both of them to the town line." Killian spoke up for the first time since they had entered Granny's.

Regina's eyes widened, and for a moment the grief in them almost spilled over. Her focus was no longer on Emma and Killian, or the room around her, as she whispered, "If you cross the line you can't come back."

"Belle knows that, we made sure everyone knew." Emma said, confusion coming to her eyes. Although Regina had been allied with Gold at various points, there was no reason anymore that him being forced out of town, if that was even what Belle intended, should bother her this much. Still, her first instinct was to reassure, "I don't think she'd do that to him anyway, it's Belle and she always forgives him, but..."

"I wouldn't care if she ordered him straight to hell." Regina clipped.

"Regina, what's wrong?" Emma couldn't help asking again.

Regina cast her eyes disdainfully on Killian, who for once didn't make a quip at her. He simply raised the hand still holding Emma's, laying a light kiss on her fingertips before releasing her hand. "Thank you for the assistance, your majesty." His mocking half-bow to Regina was at odds with the sincerity in his voice. He moved off down the counter, ordering a glass of rum and joining in a conversation some of the other townsfolk were having.

"Isn't it bizarre for you sometimes, modern, jaded, independent woman that you are, dating the old world gentleman?"

Emma blushed again, thinking of how long it had taken her to get used to the romantic gestures and words that were so much a part of who he was. She saw the delay for what it was, but answered with a small smile, "What's bizarre is that he didn't get the modern-world-info-dump everyone else did from your spell. I still forget that at times, then he does something to remind me."

"Robin and his men didn't get it either, it wasn't a part of the second curse."

"That would explain why they're still more comfortable in the woods." Emma mused briefly, trying to give Regina the time she needed to tell what had happened. But there were so many things that needed to be done today, so many answers to get and so much fall-out to deal with, some more important than others. The heart in her hand pulsed again, as if agreeing with her, and she asked yet again, although gently, "What happened?"

"He chose me." Regina answered this time, the bitter, angry chuckle of her words completely at odds with the words themselves.

Emma cocked her head in confusion. "There has to be a _but_..."

Regina proceeded to explain as briefly as possible, about the remnants of the spell on Marian, and how the lack of time to find a better solution had meant Robin leaving town with her and Roland.

Emma pretended not to see the way Regina's hands were shaking around her drink as she spoke, feeling her guilt at saving Marian spring back full force. She couldn't really regret saving the woman who had refused to betray her mother, yet even as Killian's comforting words about her saving a life and reuniting a family drifted back to her she felt her heart go out to Regina. She couldn't apologize for the act itself, but said quietly, "Regina, I'm so sor..."

"Don't bother being sorry, Ms. Swan, it doesn't fix anything." Regina's eyes flitted down the bar to where Killian was now speaking to David. "Your pirate and I had a talk months ago about how villains don't get happy endings. Apparently no matter what I do, how much I change... it's just fate. So don't bother feeling bad for a fate I brought on myself."

Emma's thoughts briefly entertained what that could mean for Killian, yet once again the heart pulsing in her hand distracted her. She looked down at the bright, shining red object in her hands and flashed back to a conversation she had had with Mary Margaret when her mother's own heart had begun to darken. She looked deeper into the heart for a long moment, looking for that tell tale sign of darkness and finding none. It was that, more than any feelings she had for Killian, that made her say softly, "I don't think I believe that."

Regina scoffed. "He was a scoundrel, Emma, a pawn. On my scale of villainy he would barely register; my list of sins far outweighs his, both in number and heinousness."

"Everyone, no matter what they've done, gets a second chance, Regina." Emma said heatedly, "I don't know how, but..."

"Oh, spare me, Ms. Swan." Regina gestured irritably to the heart. "Just leave me alone, and go put that back where it belongs before you drop it."

Emma held eye contact for a long moment, then nodded and clipped out, "I'll be back." She saw Regina's scowl as she turned away, moving down the bar and coming to a stop at Killian's side, reaching out without thought to lay her hand lightly on his back. "Ready?"

He looked down at her at once and nodded, although his eyes flicked around the crowded diner before finally settling on Regina. "She going to be alright?"

"Eventually." Emma said simply; it was too long a story to retell at the moment. She noted how his eyes continued to flick around the diner even as he nodded absently.

"Perhaps a bit of privacy is in order though, love."

She wasn't sure if it was his awareness of her father beside him or simply his nervousness at the town in general seeing him in such a vulnerable and painful moment, but his voice was completely lacking the teasing innuendo he would have normally used to deliver such a line. She smiled at him softly, her hand sliding down his back to take his hand again even as she turned to David, "Could you excuse us for a few minutes?"

David nodded easily, "I was just telling Hook that Snow and I were going to head home, check on Neal. Aurora has to have her hands full with both him and her Philip. She's had them both all night while we were running around doing clean-up, and helping Elsa and them get home, and... well it's just been a long couple of days. Your mom was thinking of taking a round-about way home, trying to find Belle and make sure she's okay."

"I'd like to accompany you on that, I owe the lass." Killian spoke up before Emma could say anything.

David gave him a searching look, but something passed between them that Emma didn't understand and then the prince was nodding.

"I want to help too, but I really don't think I should leave Regina alone at the moment." Emma said softly, making sure her voice didn't carry beyond the three of them.

"What happened?" David asked at once, brow furrowing as his eyes glanced down at Regina just as she ordered another glass of wine.

Emma shook her head, then let out a sigh as she remembered Regina mentioning that Robin's merry men -and that thought would never not be weird, even if she'd learned to not say it out loud anymore- had been at the town line for the goodbye as well, and there was no way the story wouldn't spread. She dropped Killian's hand long enough to pick up his glass of rum and drain it in one long sip. To his credit, he didn't protest in the slightest, although he did regain her hand as soon as she set the glass down. Emma sighed again as she gave them the bullet point update on the Robin, Regina, and Marian triangle, promising to fill in the details later. "And now, pirate, let's get your heart back where it belongs. That's one thing that needs doing that I can _actually do _at the moment."

Killian only nodded, releasing her hand as David moved in to hug her.

"You did an amazing job, kiddo. We never doubted you." David whispered into her hair as his arms came around her, conscious of the heart between them.

Emma let her eyes shut as she hugged her father back, feeling the warmth flood through her as she felt his hand come up to cup the back of her head, the way he always hugged her. It made her feel so safe and protected now; now that she'd gone from being uncomfortable in his arms to simply relishing the feelings of love and family, the feelings of peace and strength.

"We'll say our goodbyes, make it clear we're heading home." David said to both of them once he had released his daughter. "You should maybe head out the back Hook, when Emma walked in holding your heart people started pestering Snow about what had actually happened - she hadn't mentioned that part. So you should get out soon unless you want to answer a lot of questions."

Emma nodded, but replied softly, "Before you head out, tell Granny to spread the word for everyone to leave us alone today, Regina too. We'll, hell I don't know, we'll hold a press conference or whatever you want to call it tomorrow. But there's a lot to deal with still, and a lot I don't know yet."

David nodded briefly, his eyes flickering from Emma to the heart in her hand, then to Killian before resting on Emma again, curiosity evident in his gaze. But he knew she was right, and the stories could wait until the first round of mop-up was officially done. "Granny will keep everyone in line." He managed a real grin as he said it.

Emma nodded, hugging him again briefly, then her mother as well when she walked up. They all said their goodbyes, David even shaking Killian's hand and Snow giving him an awkward almost hug, then Emma took Killian's hand again, pulling him towards the door that led to the rooms above Granny's even as her parents began to make one last round of the room.

Killian couldn't help the smile that came to his face as they began to ascend the stairs. Even knowing there was so much healing yet to be done, even knowing how fast Emma might try to run away from him once he confessed what he had done, he couldn't be anything but happy in this exact moment.

Although he had been telling the absolute truth that he didn't mind his heart being in Emma's hand,_ -it was there in every way that mattered anyway, why not physically as well?- _he still felt a thrill at the thought of it being back in his chest where it belonged, of being able to _bloody feel _everything he should once again.

He loved Emma so much that even without his heart those feelings has remained, dim echoes and faded images that he knew had once been so much more vivid, so much more alive. His head had still known he loved her more than anything, would do anything for her, and even without his heart agreeing he had somehow still known it to the marrow of his bones.

It had been that love that had allowed him to warn her, to break through the words the crocodile was feeding him for brief seconds, to grasp her arm in an urgent warning. No matter what happened to him, he simply could not allow her to be harmed. He had thought that even with that it would be too late, but somehow miraculously once again he had survived.

And so his smile grew as each step up the stairs brought him one step closer to having his heart back where it belonged.

The first thing he was going to do was kiss Emma like she'd never been kissed before.

TBC...

A quick note because someone asked: No, this does not go with my other CS stories, not even the ones that have remained cannon friendly. Although parts of them are kinda head cannon and may sneak in, you do not have to have read any of them. (Although I would love it if you did.) Reviews are as ever appreciated.


	3. 3

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks again for the reviews and favorites, I'm very glad that people are continuing to enjoy this. This begins directly after the end of the scene where Emma returns Killians's heart, and then it's time for him to have some bonding time with her parents.

* * *

><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 3:

For a long moment both of them lost themselves in the feel of the other, and when they finally broke apart for air Killian gasped, "By all the gods, love..."

"I was so scared." Emma breathed back, her walls completely down for an instant, although they started to shimmer back as she caught the look in his eye and hissed, "And don't give me that survivor line again - we got so lucky this time, and..."

"And all's well that ends well." He said softly, his hand sliding from the back of her neck around to her cheek and urging her back into a kiss, this time one that was soft and gentle.

It reminded her of the way he had kissed her earlier in the day, yet the difference between the two kisses was simply indescribable, and she couldn't help but lean back in, kissing him yet again. What started as another soft emotional kiss began to grow as Emma tightened her arms around him, pulling their bodies lightly into contact from chest to hips.

Killian's hand had slid back over her hair, achingly gentle, but as she pulled their bodies together his hand fisted, using the pressure to tilt her head further to the side and deepen the kiss. The slight forcefulness sent a thrill through Emma, and her hands clenched at his shoulders for a long moment, returning the bruising kiss before she finally had to pull back.

Emma took a long moment to catch her breath, breathing heavily as her forehead rested on his shoulder, hearing his own breath harsh against her hair. His nose nudged against her temple, and she felt a second thrill run through her when she realized he had shifted the hair from her temple so he could lay a gentle kiss there.

She reluctantly opened her eyes, pulling back from him slightly, unable to resist planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before forcing herself remember that they still had things to accomplish. And as the haze of lust cleared, she remembered that her parents were waiting for him to join them and said with a soft smile, "Don't keep my parents waiting too long or David will storm up here threatening you. Help them find Belle, make sure she's okay. I can't even imagine how she feels right now, whatever she chose to do."

"I owe the lass my life and I'm appropriately grateful she finally stood up to him and saw the truth, but she did rather go into this with her eyes wide open. She knew what he was, and I'm surprised it took her this long to realize she was lying to herself about him changing." Killian's voice wasn't judgmental, but rather musing and gentle.

"She wanted to see the good in him because she loves him." Emma defended shyly, unable to keep herself from blushing as she realized how the situation could apply to herself as well. Still, she forged on, "I happen to know that people really can change."

Killian's eyes flashed indignantly, "You can't seriously be comparing me to him?"

Her hand smoothed over his cheek, "No, that wasn't what I meant, but, but you know change doesn't happen overnight. It's not like flipping a switch, you have to work at it, and people close to you have to understand that there will be mistakes, be backsliding..."

"We don't have time for that now, lass. Not if I'm to go with your parents to find Belle." His voice was just as soft as hers, and she saw in his eyes how he both needed to tell her and dreaded doing so.

"I just can't believe I didn't see it. But, I mean, he helped us save Henry, and he gave his life to defeat Pan, and then, it seemed like even when he came back he was changed, and..."

"He fooled everyone, lass." Killian cut her off gently. "He was always careful to not lie to you outright, and we know how skilled he is at spinning words. You thought that Belle held his dagger and so we were safe from him, but like Regina I know him better than most. But that's the start of the long story, and as you said we should go look for Belle."

"I'm going to go back down and talk to Regina some more, see if I can help her. I'll be here when you come back." Emma said as she nodded in agreement. While a part of her was definitely relieved that she could put off this potentially disastrous conversation for a little bit longer, she was also honestly worried about Belle.

She trusted the princess enough that she wasn't worried about her losing control of Gold; Emma knew the innate goodness that had finally overcome her desire for a love she could trust and allowed her to see the truth would prevail. But just because she trusted Belle to win didn't mean the woman wouldn't fall apart once the crisis had been dealt with. Emma knew that feeling all too well.

"Until later then, love." Killian leaned in for another soft kiss, which spun out longer and longer until the crash of a tray dropping downstairs brought them both back to the here and now. They parted with sheepish grins, and Emma turned to go back down the stairs while Killian moved down the hallway so he could sneak out the back way, as David had suggested.

OoOoOoOoO

"You said Belle mentioned the town line?"

Killian took the greeting in stride as he moved out the back door of Granny's to find Snow and David waiting for him in their vehicle. He climbed into the back seat, barely getting the door closed before David was pulling away. "Aye, she did. Swan doubts she'll go through with it, and mayhaps she only took him there because privacy was assured, however..."

"It's the only idea we have." Snow commented after sharing a brief look with David, noticing he had already been heading that way, and was speeding up as they cleared the town proper.

There was a slightly awkward silence as the minutes passed, and finally David cleared his throat before speaking, "And now that we have a few minutes to kill..." David caught his eyes in the review mirror briefly, making it clear what he didn't say.

"Emma deserves the full story before anyone else does, mate." Killian said softly. "And we haven't had time for that yet, but when we do I'll hold nothing back. No matter what light it casts me in I'll fully answer any question she puts to me, and tell her what she doesn't think to ask."

"Really?" Snow turned in her seat to glance back at him, her eyebrow raised skeptically.

Killian graced her with a genuine smile. "That surprises you, your highness? You were the one who told me secrets keep us apart from those we love."

"And you love her?" Snow's voice wasn't hostile, and Killian could detect the hints that said she was really asking for confirmation of something she already knew.

Killian smiled softly, a slight blush coming to his cheeks as he saw Snow's eyes widen; he wondered what exactly showed on his face and in his eyes at the moment. Before he could reply however, David chimed in, "He'd go to the end of the world for her."

The reluctant acknowledgement and almost grudging respect in David's voice caused Killian's smile to flash brighter, and he echoed without thinking, "Or time." David chuckled along with him, and while Killian understood part of it was simply relieving the tensions that had been on them for so long, he couldn't help saying, "I wondered if you would ever bring that up."

"I didn't remember it at first." David admitted, although there was still something odd in his voice. "Although even once I did, well, you knew exactly who you were talking to."

"What are you talking about?" Snow chimed in.

"When Swan and I were back in the past, your prince and I had a bit of a chat about love and faith." Killian clarified briefly before meeting David's eyes in the mirror again, "And I'd never lie to you about how I feel for her, mate. I'd never have been there with her at all if not for those feelings."

"I know you don't see her as loot."

Snow raised an eyebrow, looking back at her husband incredulously as if she couldn't believe he would even suggest that.

"She's never been that." Killian only smiled, knowing that was the closest the prince would come to apologizing for asking about his intentions weeks ago. Not that an apology had ever been needed; every father had a right to look out for his daughter, and Killian was glad that Emma had people in her life that cared enough to look out for her. "I've told you exactly how I feel, and would have told her as well if I didn't fear it would send her fleeing in the other direction."

"Well, you certainly know her." Show chimed in once again, although this time with a mischievous smirk. "Although you could tell me."

Killian flashed her a genuine smile, the slight nerves that had been starting to build fading away at the gentle teasing in her voice. He might not be the man Snow would have chosen for her daughter, but she seemed to have finally accepted that he was who _Emma_ had chosen. And as such she was trying to get to know him better, which for some reason seemed to involve teasing. He was still learning when it was okay to tease her back, and felt his eyes twinkling as he replied, "I didn't think you would need to be told, highness. You read people all too well."

"Women still like hearing the words, Captain." Snow grinned back, and for a moment the whole situation felt surreal to Killian.

He was sitting in a car with Snow White and Prince Charming, who happened to be the parents of the woman he was in love with. And they were having a discussion about said daughter, and rather than threatening what they would do if he hurt her, or telling him he was beneath her, or any of a dozen other reactions that had nagged in the back of his mind as he lay trying to sleep at night - rather than any of that Snow simply wanted to know how he felt about her.

So rather than keeping up the lighthearted banter, Killian's voice shifted low and serious, holding eye contact with a woman who read people almost as well as his Swan did. "You know how I feel, highness, because you know how your prince looks at you; like you're his whole entire world, and it's a bloody brilliant world indeed. And that's exactly how I feel about Emma, and as I've never tried to hide that from her I'm certain you've noticed it as well." Killian paused briefly, eyes challengingly still locked on hers, waiting to continue speaking until he saw the acceptance of his words swirl through her. "She's bloody infuriating at times, though I'm certain she says the same of me. Yet we understand each other in a way I've never had with another person. I love her more than anything, and will do everything in my power to make her believe that. And I know she cares for me."

"She more than cares for you." Snow murmured without thought, her heart sighing at Killian's romantic description of how David looked at her. Because yeah, she knew exactly the look that he meant, knew it was how she and David looked at each other, had seen it pass between Emma and Killian as well. She smiled softly when Killian flushed, slanting her eyes over to her husband, who felt her eyes on him and glanced over to her with the exact look in question completely naked on his face for an instant before turning his attention back to the road. She looked back to Killian and added, "Just tell her the truth, about everything that happened. Make sure you completely clear the air between you, because the longer something goes unspoken the more it hurts."

Although her eyes didn't flick back to David this time, the man let out an apologetic sounding grunt to let her know the reference hadn't been lost. He cleared his throat before nodding, "Back then, you were the one encouraging me to tell the ones I loved the truth."

"He was?" Snow actually didn't sound as surprised by that as Killian had expected her to.

"I plan on telling her everything, so please leave off on being overbearing parents." Killian said it softly, letting them hear in his voice that he understood why they were so protective of Emma. "She wanted a brief time to gather her thoughts and her strength before we discussed everything. And I really am concerned for Belle. I owe the lass, and a great deal given our unfortunate history."

"You apologized and she forgave you." Snow reminded him gently.

"People can say they forgive you and not really mean it."

Killian's voice was tinged with a deep sadness, and Snow wondered what the story behind that statement was. It was too personal to ask though, so she only said softly, "Well, around here we always mean it. If she says it, she'll mean it. If she says it, believe her."

Killian smiled softly, again feeling as if the moment was almost surreal, as if he would shortly awaken from a dream and find the crocodile holding his heart again.

David and Snow had certainly been more friendly with him ever since Emma almost froze to death, and he had seen the speculative looks both had cast their way that night, but he had never expected the quiet approval he heard in both their tones. At least not this quickly. He finally realized he had been letting his thoughts gather when Snow softly repeated her last sentence, and he hurried to respond, "I know." It was said simply, and for an instant he almost left it at that. But as long as his beloved's mother wanted to know about his feelings, he'd tell her all. "And in all the worlds, if I was only allowed one thing to believe in, I would choose her. I would trust in her."

Snow's heart let out another sigh even as she saw a slight blush rising to his cheeks, and she realized that while he was being honest with her, he was slightly uncomfortable with the whole situation. She didn't blame him, this was certainly a conversation she had never thought she'd be having.

She had known he cared for Emma on some level, had known without doubt that he desired her, but she hadn't understood the full extent of his feelings until David told her of his panic when Emma had been trapped in the ice cave. And she hadn't known the depth of Emma's feelings for him until she'd seen the look on her daughter's face when she'd come home from their first official date. Emma had been practically floating with happiness, and Snow had started to realize just how well the two of them did fit together. Then she thought of his overly poetic words from earlier and let out a brief giggle, voicing what had popped into her head, "Do you really say things like that to her?"

Killian's quick grin and the sparkle in his eyes told Snow he understood her question perfectly, and he relaxed back into his seat as the serious mood broke and he nodded, saying, "She still blushes, though she has stopped insisting that men don't talk like that in this world. Although she may have simply become vexed by my continual assertions that this world is sadly lacking in romance."

Snow's smile grew as she appreciated his quick wit, and she let out an almost giggle when David glared at her. "Remember those things I don't want to know about?"

"You first brought it up, mate." Killian replied with a smirk, completely relaxed again now that the serious part of the conversation was over.

"Then let's just drop it." David suggested, yet he too was smiling. "You're sure she said the town line?" His voice shifted to a more serious tone as he stopped the car along the town line, headlights scanning the road and finding in empty.

"Aye," Killian answered, his eyes already scanning the woods, ignoring the sound of one of their phones ringing as he tried to peer deeper into the underbrush. Killian listened with half an ear as Snow spoke to Aurora, apparently both babies were running slight fevers, likely just a touch of ague, but of course it meant that Snow wanted to return home at once to check on her young prince.

"Just leave me out here then," Killian decided even as David prepared to get out of the car so Snow could drive home. "Both of you go, I'll poke around a bit, see if I can pick up any kind of trial or anything else to ascertain what happened. It's barely a mile back to town."

"I'm not sure Emma would want you out here alone." Even in her worry over one child, Snow thought of the other.

"The Snow Queen is gone, and Belle holds the dagger. I'll come to no harm." Killian got out of the vehicle even as he spoke, pulling the door halfway closed before calling back, "Just go and take care of your boy, I'll find the poor lass if she's to be found."

He had only taken two steps away when Snow's voice called out to him, and he turned to find the princess's window open. "Why do you care?"

"I owe her my life." Killian answered immediately.

"I know that, but she's the wife of the man you've wanted revenge on for decades."

Killian took a deep breath, saying softly, "She did save my life, and that alone would be enough. But there aren't many who know how it feels to lose someone they're in love with. The circumstances may be vastly different, but I do know that whatever she's feeling, she's also feeling the pain of losing him. No matter how much anger you build up, and no matter how you direct it, the pain is still there. I thought it might help her to have someone understand that."

Snow's smile beamed out of her face. "You really are a good man."

His face flushed, eyes flicking to the ground as his fingers came up to tug at his earring and rub the side of his neck. "Go on, see to your lad."

Snow smiled again, but didn't press the issue. "Take care of Belle, and of Emma."

The last words were barely a whisper, and his voice was equally soft when he answered immediately, "Always."

Snow nodded, and her window slid up as the car pulled away, heading back to town.

Killian took a deep breath and began to look for any trace of Belle or the crocodile.

TBC...


	4. 4

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Hopefully everyone had a wonderful holiday, I know I did! Here's the next part, a bit more Snowing for your enjoyment, then Killian and Belle. We'll be getting to Captain Swan next chapter, so stay tuned! Reviews are appreciated as always.

* * *

><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 4:

"We've all lost people we've loved." David grumbled as they pulled away, watching in the rear view for a moment as Hook stood at the town line, head down. It would take a minute for his eyes to adjust to the dark after the blinding glare of the headlights. "I know about his brother, but we've both lost our mothers, and..."

"He didn't say _loved_." Snow interrupted gently, but the soft words immediately stopped her husband's rant before it could begin. "He said _in love with_."

"He was in love with someone? Before Emma?"

Snow couldn't help it, she laughed. "He's a couple hundred years old, and you're surprised he's been in love before? Besides, we already knew that." When David only cast his eyes to her briefly, the question clear on his face, she added, "Neverland? Echo Cave?"

"Where he confessed he kissed Emma? That he was in love with her?"

Snow shook her head, "He didn't say he loved her, he said he hadn't thought he'd be able to get over _his first love _until he met _her_."

David cast his mind back, but for the life of him couldn't remember the exact wording. "I think I was too stuck on the fact that he'd kissed my daughter." He admitted after a long moment.

Snow smiled at that, understanding perfectly. "She'd already told me they kissed, but that it wasn't a big deal. I thought that because she'd felt the need to tell me it was, but I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it at the time, so I let her brush it off. But I watched, and I listened. He really is a good man."

David sighed. "He's trying to be, and I know what he feels for Emma is true. But I want to know how Gold got his heart. I want to know what he did..."

"We don't know he did anything." Snow interrupted her husband again. "You know how quickly and easily a heart can be taken, all Gold needed was a moment alone. He may have needed Hook's heart for a specific reason, or may have simply chosen the man he hates the most. We don't know Hook did anything wrong."

"We don't know he didn't."

Snow smacked him on the arm. "We'll hear the story tomorrow I'm sure, either from Emma or from him. We can guess all we want, but it's pointless. We don't even know what Gold was planning to do."

"I noticed you left out what spell Gold was attempting when you told the story, I just figured you didn't want everyone to know for some reason." David answered, glancing over at her for a moment. "You didn't ask Hook?"

"I don't know if he knows, but even if he does, well... whatever it was had been stopped, and we were staring at his heart. That and letting you know everything was okay took precedence. The look on Emma's face..."

David reached out immediately when he heard the pain in her voice, putting his hand on her knee.

Snow smiled at him, clasping his hand in her own as she went on softly, "When we first got there, Gold froze us at the bottom of the stairs. We could see his heart in Gold's hand, and hear his scream when Gold started to crush it. All I could think of was how I had to do that to you, I knew that was for a good cause and I'm still not sure I could have born it afterwards; so what it would do to her if she had to watch helplessly while... She had been so worried the whole way there, that whatever was wrong with Hook had something to do with Gold, and then..."

"It all worked out." David said softly when she trailed off. "So, I say that for the rest of the day, we go home and take care of our baby, and be happy that everyone's alive."

"And have faith that everything will work out." Snow squeezed his hand, and when they stopped at the first traffic light leading to main street, he leaned over to kiss her lightly.

"It's always worked before." David agreed with a smile.

_OoOoOoOoO_

_"Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light." -Helen Keller_

_OoOoOoOoO_

It didn't take Killian long to find Belle, he had only to follow the crying.

"Lass." He called out softly as he moved into the woods, not wanting to scare her and not sure what situation he was walking into. The crying cut off for a second, then came back even stronger as he came around a huge oak tree and found her cowered at the base of it. Her knees were curled up to her chest, her arms around them, the dagger still clutched tightly in her hand. Killian hated the first question he needed to ask, but as he knelt down beside her, his head still up and watching for danger, he asked gently, "Where is he?"

She only started crying harder, and his instinctive reaction was to reach out and offer comfort. But he was uncertain how she would take that from him, particularly now, and was still hesitant about focusing solely on her when he didn't know where the crocodile was. His hand hovered in the air for a moment before falling uselessly back to his side. He didn't want to push, wanted to give her the time to grieve, but first he needed that one question answered. Everything else could wait, but not this. "Lass, what happened?"

Belle finally looked up, and for a long moment she did nothing but gaze into his eyes. Killian wasn't sure what she was looking for, but she obviously found it for she whispered, "He's gone." Her eyes dropped back to the dagger then, a fresh wave of grief flowing through her, and when she looked back up she could see the conflict in his eyes.

She knew and understood that he needed more, yet saying the words made the pain spiral up again, even worse than before. "I made him cross the line. He's gone."

Killian's eyes widened in shock, and he tried to think of something to say. He felt the joy and relief welling in him; the bloody crocodile was gone, and could no longer hurt anyone he loved. But that wasn't something he could express to her, nor could he pretend that he was saddened by the news. So he kept his face carefully blank and for a long moment simply sat with her while she cried.

"I didn't let him explain." Belle whispered after long moments of silence, her tears finally slowing although not stopping. "I couldn't, I...but he could die out there, and maybe I shouldn't have..."

"He's resourceful, and bloody hard to kill." Killian heard the resentment creeping into his own voice as he said the last, and took a deep breath, reminding himself what he was here for. He closed his eyes and took a moment to bring up the memory of Milah dying in his arms. The image was slightly faded in a way it hadn't been before he met Emma, but it was still clear enough to bring with it the pain, and fill his voice with empathy as he spoke again, "You know it had to be done, and you know he'll survive. It's likely what the townspeople would have wanted done anyway, once they learned all he had done and planned."

"I can't take hearing any of it right now." Belle's voice was almost hollow. "Maybe later, but..."

"Whatever you want, love." Killian said softly, and this time he didn't check the impulse to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll tell you as much or as little as you want, whenever it suits you. Belle, I do understand why you did it."

"You can't." She said simply.

But Killian remembered Emma's words from earlier, on how Belle wouldn't force Gold over the line because she always forgave him, and he knew she had been thinking about it backwards. "You had to do it before you forgave him."

She turned amazed eyes on him.

"Loving someone enough that you'd forgive them anything, do anything for them, should be a blessing. But I know from the trials of wooing my own lass just how much it can hurt." Killian felt odd about drawing the analogy, about talking about himself when she was in such pain, but she would never believe he understood otherwise. "She rejected me many times, refused to see beyond what she thought she knew of me, accused me of baser desires when I genuinely wanted to comfort and support. But I knew she didn't mean to hurt me, she simply had issues of her own to work through, and I loved her. Loved her enough to forgive her anything, which caused me a great deal of pain at the time."

"You're honestly trying to compare..."

"I know it's not the same," Killian cut her off, shaking his head at the same time. "I'm not saying...sorry lass, I think I'm still not quite used to having my heart back, my equilibrium is a bit off. I'm only saying it so you'll know I understand loving someone that much. We can't pick who we love, and as there's nothing I wouldn't do for Emma it's lucky I am that she's a hero. And you proved today that you're one as well. You truly love him, so you had to banish him before your heart could forgive what you know in your head is unforgivable."

"I've never believed anything was unforgivable." Belle mused after a long moment of silence.

Killian sighed in relief, he had been starting to worry if taking the conversation in that direction had been the wrong choice. And he really did understand, and feel sorry for Belle, but as he'd told Emma earlier it wasn't like she hadn't known what she was getting into. He tried for neutrality. "I suppose that's for each person to decide."

"You're right though, I was afraid I would forgive him if I didn't send him away." Belle's voice broke at the words, and when Killian hesitantly slid an arm around her to comfort she didn't stiffen up, but leaned into him for a long moment. "He promised he had changed."

Killian simply held her as she cried, wondering at the strange twist of fate that had him comforting the crocodile's wife. For the first time since he'd met her, that wife had reminded him of the first, of his Milah. He had seen the strength and fire that would have called a man to her, and seen that fire used against that man. And unlike Milah, she had survived the encounter. Broken, but still living. And anything broken could be fixed.

_You're happy that I got my heart broken? If it can be broken, that means that it still works._

He had spoken those words to Emma what felt like a lifetime ago, back when he had been trying desperately to have her see that he cared for her, that under the mask of dashing and flirting pirate was a simple man, who in some ways was as broken as she was. In remembering the man he had once been, and in wanting to be that man again, he had changed.

Not _for _her precisely, not the way that phrase was oft used, but because he wanted to be worthy of her. Because he loved her and he wanted to be the kind of man she wanted to be with, the kind of man she could fall in love with. She deserved someone better than he, and he still sometimes stopped to marvel at the fact that she was letting him in, letting him through her walls, letting him into her heart. The way that she had always forgiven him, had in fact months ago given him blanket-forgiveness for any of his past deeds, had been swirling though his head when he had realized that Belle had acted so that she didn't have time to forgive.

Killian's train of thought was interrupted as Belle's crying finally stopped, and he was just about to speak when her voice came softly, still laced with sorrow.

"Everyone warned me that he couldn't change, but people can. You, what you've said to me today, is proof of that." Belle said as she slowly pulled back from him, and he caught the hint of amazement in her eyes, that of all people he was the one here comforting her. He also saw the bone deep weariness caused by the emotional strain.

"Aye, people can change, and when you love someone you have to give them the chance." Killian said simply, refraining from saying out loud that he'd never been as evil as the crocodile was. Regina had been closer, yet she too had changed, both of them because they had truly wanted to. Rumpelstiltskin, for all his words and pledges to Belle, had never truly wanted to, and Killian knew it. But those were words for another night, or never. "You're exhausted, lass. We should head back to town. We can speak more on the way back, or another time all together if you'd rather."

"I know I need to hear it, I just can't face it now."

Killian offered her a mirthless smile. "That's exactly what Emma said to me about my part in all this."

"You were forced into it, she can hardly blame you."

"That's not entirely true." Killian said, rising to his feet and offering her a hand up. "But I can't tell my part of it without telling of him."

Belle accepted the hand but released it the instant she was on her feet, both hands clutching the dagger to her chest. "Tell me one thing, just yes or no. Did he hurt people? Whatever the reason, did he hurt anyone? Or make you hurt them?"

Killian thought of the old man in the house, of how the heart that wasn't even in his chest had been shuddering as he met the Blue Fairy's eyes before the hat absorbed her. "Aye."

Belle nodded once, sharply and resolutely, and then began walking out of the woods and back to the road. Killian caught up to her quickly, and when she didn't speak again he allowed the silence to hold.

He felt her retreating, pulling back her feelings, bottling some of them because it was just too enormous, too much, and she couldn't feel it all at the moment. They walked the entire way in silence, she clutching the dagger to her chest and he thinking his own thoughts, trying to put them in order for the best way to tell Emma everything.

They had just started walking down Main Street when she finally spoke again, "Tell everyone I made him leave town, and tell Emma and the others that I'll talk to them tomorrow. I really just need to be alone right now."

"Whatever you wish." Killian answered softly. "I owe you a debt, lass. You saved my life."

"You're making it a good one. I really wish he had done the same." Belle said sadly as they paused before turning onto the street that would lead to their... to Rumple's house. She rapidly shook her head and resumed walking. He immediately fell into step beside her. "Granny's, please. I just can't..."

"Of course love, we can even go in the back way."

They did exactly that, and he left Belle briefly in the back hallway to peak through the swinging doors, catching Ruby's eye and calling her over.

"What do you... Belle." Ruby's voice softened at once, and she hurried back to the other woman.

Kilian followed on her heels. "She sent Gold over the line, he's gone. She just needs a place to sleep. And no questions."

Ruby's eyes widened at the firmness in his voice, but whatever she saw in his eyes made her not question the oddness of the pirate looking after his nemesis's wife. "Take her upstairs, I'll bring a key up. And I'll spread the word."

Killian nodded gratefully, gesturing Belle to the stairs. When she didn't move he laid a hand lightly on her back, and she jolted before looking up at him with eyes that were too wide.

It was a delayed reaction to the situation, Killian knew, for he had seen it before. "Just a little further, lass, and then you can rest and hopefully forget all this for a time."

She didn't speak, but when he pressed lightly on her back she began to walk, moving so slowly up the stairs that by the time they made it to the top Ruby was behind them. Killian hesitated at the door to the room Ruby opened as Belle moved inside, and Ruby laid a hand on his arm. "I've got her." She let him see the seriousness in her eyes when he raised an eyebrow at her, and added, "I won't ask questions."

Killian appraised her for a long moment before nodding. "Thank you, lass." He had already started down the hallway when Ruby called to him softly.

"Captain, why do you care?"

"I know what it's like to lose the one you love, and I saw in your eyes that you do as well." Killian answered simply.

Ruby's face showed her shock that he had read her that easily, she hadn't realized it was one of his talents. "What happened to your lady?"

Killian blinked at the blunt question. Ruby hadn't been around much lately, and he'd forgotten how straightforward she could be. Part of him even appreciated it, especially after so long of dealing with the minefield that Emma could be, so he answered in the spirit the question had been asked. "Rumpelstiltskin crushed her heart. And your lad?"

"I ate him." Ruby said just as simply, turning to go into Belle's room and then pausing, looking back at him still frozen in the middle of the hallway. "I know how she feels, even more than you do. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that I don't remember doing it."

She went into the room after that, closing the door softly behind her before he could respond. Which was just as well, as he didn't know what he would have said anyway. Would he give up the pain of losing her if it meant he would lose her whispering her love one last time? Would not having that final memory be better or worse? It wouldn't change that she was gone.

Killian shook his head briefly to clear his thoughts, knowing that in the end it didn't matter. She was gone, and Emma was downstairs, waiting for him to get back so that he could confess his sins.

If she was ready to hear them.

TBC...


	5. 5

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Sorry for the delay on getting this out, Christmas, New Years, and a slight writers block have me behind in my writing. And this was the part that had to be perfect. Well, and the next one as well. I will be resuming my normal weekly updates now. Thanks as always for the wonderful reviews, they really make my day.

* * *

><p>Picking Up The Pieces<p>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 5:

Emma and Regina were both gone when Killian got back into the diner, and with a sigh he settled at the counter, pulling the phone Emma had given him from his coat pocket.

He was just about to hit the button for Emma when Granny set a glass of rum down in front of him. "She'll be back."

"Pardon?" Killian asked, setting his phone on the counter as he looked up at her.

"Emma, Henry wanted her and her majesty for something. Nothing bad." Granny continued quickly when she saw the concern come into his eyes. "Said to tell you she'd be back."

"Thank you."

Granny gave him a suspicious eye before heading off to deal with raised hands further down the bar.

Killian stared into the depths of the glass, grateful the the moment's respite to gather his own thoughts. He was so lost in them that he jolted when Ruby stopped in front of him, putting a second glass of rum down beside the first.

"I think I need my wits about me at the moment, lass."

"Oh, this one is for me." Ruby suited words to actions and picked the second glass up to take a long sip. "She's sleeping, dropped off like a log. Not sure how long that'll last, but..."

"You're back!" Emma's voice interrupted, and Killian spun his stool at once to face her. "Did you find Belle?"

"Aye, she's upstairs, trying to sleep." Killian replied, then answered her next question before she could even ask it. "She ordered him across the town line love, he's gone."

"She..." Emma's face showed her surprise. "Wow. I really didn't think she'd do that. It'd be stupid to ask if she's okay, but..."

"She will be, eventually." Ruby interjected softly, adding when Emma turned curious eyes to her, "I know what it's like to lose someone you love, however it happens, and so does the captain...I mean, I..."

Emma watched her eyes widen, and she smiled as Ruby began to stammer and cut her off, "It's okay, Ruby, I knew." She'd known from almost the beginning, but he'd told her the whole story weeks ago over drinks at the Rabbit Hole, from the day he met Milah until the day Gold killed her. She'd reciprocated by telling him about her and Neal.

It had been slightly awkward for both of them, not that they were worried about jealousy over the past, but because both stories had painful endings that neither of them had ever really told anyone else before.

Ruby blushed slightly, but nodded. "I need to get back to work, but I'll keep an eye on Belle today and through the night, I won't let anyone but Granny know she's here."

"Thank you."

Ruby nodded as she scooted off, heading out to the tables, and Emma took a steadying breath before turning to Killian, saying softly, "I think I'm ready for that story now."

"Quite right, then." He said under his breath as he cast his eyes around the diner. "Although for the second time this day I find myself desiring privacy."

Emma smiled. There weren't many options for that, especially not for a lengthily discussion, but the best option was one her gentlemen would never suggest. "We can go talk in your room."

Killian nodded, and she could see that even under the circumstances he was having trouble containing a risque comment. As they passed through the swinging doors, she huffed out, "Oh, just say it."

His chuckle caused her to smile, she knew the flirting comments in the midst of serious situations were one of his defense mechanisms, and they both needed a moment to relax before the conversation that was to follow. She was surprised when he took her hand, tugging to turn her towards him before she could start going up the stairs.

His eyes were twinkling, but his face serious, as he said gently, "I'll only say confessing my sins is not what I imagine when I think of you in my room."

There was a twinge of such longing in his voice that it caused Emma a moment of panic, but it was quickly swept away on a rush of heat at the softness of his tone. "It's not what I imagine either." She confessed at a whisper. "But it's what we need right now."

"Aye." He released her hand then, and they mounted the stairs in silence. Killian paused as he unlocked the door to his room, pointing down the hallway to the last door on the opposite side of the hall. "Belle's there, hopefully escaped into kind dreams. She said to tell you she'll talk to you tomorrow, tell you everything, but for now we should just let her be."

He turned to go into the room, gesturing for her to proceed him, and Emma's thoughts whirled as she moved by him, glancing around the room to buy herself a moment, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. The look in his eyes when he spoke of Belle had been so sympathetic, so understanding, and as her thoughts aligned she realized it went way deeper than Belle having saved his life.

"I know what you said before, about Belle saving your life, but I can see it's more than that." Emma said softly, the confusion clear in her eyes when they finally met his. "Killian, why do you care?"

Killian took a deep breath, buying time by pointing out, "You're the third person to ask me that this day."

Emma smiled softly, crossing the room to sit on the bed, holding out a hand in invitation to join her. "Who were the others?"

"Ruby and your mother." Killian sighed as he pulled his coat off, draping it over the desk chair before moving to sit beside Emma. "And I'll tell you the same as I did them; I know the pain of losing someone you're in love with, and I feel for anyone who has to go through it."

Emma slid her hand into his, turning her body slightly to bring her other hand over to wrap lightly around his forearm, and the memory painted into his skin. "It's more than that though."

Killian chuckled mirthlessly, feeling as if this time he was the open book. "It is, but that's the start of the whole miserable tale."

It was Emma who took the deep breath this time, releasing his forearm to raise her fingers to his face, gently tracing over his cheek and encouraging him to turn towards her. When their eyes met, she had to take another moment to breath. His love for her was blazing in those eyes, but so was shame and fear and dozens of other things she had no words for, but could read just the same. "Then tell me. Trust me. Trust..." Emma took another deep breath, and it took all her courage to whisper, "Trust in what we have together."

Killian felt the warmth flood though him as she said the last word, and he raised their joined hands to his lips, kissing her hand, eyes lingering on hers as he gathered his own courage. "I knew, the moment we heard that the crocodile had given Belle the dagger, I knew that it was a lie. I should have told you, or Belle, or someone, but instead I waited for an opportunity to use it against him." He broke eye contact then, eyes focusing on his hook. "Not to hurt him, although the idea appealed greatly that's not the man I want to be anymore. I wanted to let go of all that, but that's hard to do when I'm reminded of it every moment. Every moment that I only have one hand to hold you."

Emma's sharp intake of breath showed her instant understanding. "You blackmailed him into giving you your hand back."

"Aye." Killian said simply. "If I'd told everything back then, when I still could, none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have had to..."

"It might have been worse." Emma interrupted. "I don't care how things could have been different. Just tell me what happened."

It came in fits and starts, how he had blackmailed the crocodile into reattaching his hand, the warning he had been given and chosen to ignore. The truth about the anger in the restaurant, and what had happened to her prisoner. His fear that he would hurt her, or Henry, or someone else she loved. How he had gone to the man he hated most, and been forced to make a deal to get rid of the wretched thing.

She listened with a calm face, interrupting him briefly with questions but never once judging him. He was merely giving her the backstory though, merely setting the stage for the first vile act he'd been forced to commit.

Her arm slid around him as he spoke of going to the old man's house, as he told what had happened. "That's how I knew what he meant to do to you, how he meant to save you from your magic." The derision in his voice at the second part of the sentence was scathing. "I don't know how he managed to say it without directly lying, I presume something to do with the hat taking your magic away. And it would indeed have done that, only by physically sucking you into it. You would be gone, at the time I thought dead, although I now suspect from things he's said to me that there may be a way to get everyone out."

"Everyone?"

"The faeries are in there as well," Killian whispered, "but that comes later in the story."

Emma stiffened, pulling back from him enough to look into his eyes. "That wasn't Ingrid?"

"No love, that was me, although as you know by that point I didn't have my heart." Killian said softly, understanding that this needed brief clarification before he continued. "The crocodile needed the town in chaos to cover his plans. Think if everyone had still been devoid of their senses, think if you would have been able to stop him then."

Emma knew the answer to that, and shuddered at the thought. Without Belle, Gold would have won. Would have been able to do whatever it was he was trying to do. And he had been willing to sacrifice everyone else in the two to do it. Realizing with a start that she didn't even know what that was, Emma was about to ask when something else swirled into her mind and she felt tears fill her eyes. "That's why you... when you said goodbye, at the station before, you really meant... you really thought..."

"I thought it was truly goodbye, aye." Killian understood her broken sentences at once, fingers trailing over her cheek to wipe away the single tear that had spilled over. She started at his touch as if she hadn't even been aware it had spilled over, then immediately tilted her cheek into his palm.

"Those were your words though." Emma said with certainly. "I know you can use a heart to make people say things, but it was always you talking to me, just this weird look in your eyes, and something wrong with how you touched me, how you kissed me. Until downstairs earlier today. Those were his words, weren't they?"

"They were." Killian agreed. She had confirmed what he was thinking earlier that day, that she had finally realized just how wrong something was but hadn't had time to deal with it yet. "Colored by how he sees me, and never having seen how I am with you. I think it's why he didn't try it until the end, he couldn't risk you becoming truly suspicious."

"I certainly was, but Elsa and them had to get home, and..."

"I told you earlier not to apologize to me, love." Killian reminded softly. "And you haven't even heard the worst part of this sordid affair yet." He prided himself on never being a coward, and knew deep down that it hadn't really been admitting the act that worried him. It had been what the crocodile told him after taking the hand back.

She must have seen that fear, known that whatever was to come was worse than what he'd already told her, for she leaned her head on his shoulder and reached out to link their fingers together once again. "I'm listening."

And so he finished the story, unable to stop his voice from breaking as he repeated what the crocodile had told him. He whispered the words into her hair, words that felt as though they were etched unto his very soul.

_Dark One lies. Dark One tricks._ _That hand was never cursed. Who you really are. Darkness that lies beneath._

"If you had that darkness in you, you wouldn't feel bad about what you've done. You wouldn't feel guilt and regret and shame." Emma said at once, raising her head to let him see the belief burning in her eyes. "Besides, we've seen your heart now. I think the question of darkness is pretty much moot."

"Are you sure you saw the same heart I did, love?" Killian asked with a raised eyebrow, "For although there wasn't nearly as much darkness as I've dreaded, it was certainly there."

Emma smiled softly, reaching out to rest her hand lightly on his chest, then pushing just hard enough to feel his heartbeat. "There might have been a little swirling around in there, but I imagine everyone has that at times. But it hasn't stained your heart, Killian, and that's all that matters."

"It's still there."

"But it's fading away." Emma insisted, remembering what her mother had said about her own heart after she killed Cora. "Gold did something to the hand, Killian, he cursed it. There's no way he could have resisted the chance to have you under this thumb again."

"I want to believe that."

"Then do." Emma whispered. "Believe it, and then tell me what happened next."

TBC...

AN2: Very small bits of this near the end were adapted from one of my other stories, just in case it sounded familiar.


	6. 6

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Totally Captain Swan. Reviews much appreciated. They may be slightly out of character, Emma in particular, but it totally works for me based on how emotional and contemplative recent events may have made them.

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 6:

The story was short and easy to tell for the next bit, as not much had happened until Killian realized that Gold was trying to suck her into the hat.

He nearly broke when he got to that part, and Emma could see in his eyes that he was reliving the panic of those moments. He broke eye contact when he told her of the phone message he'd left her, and she could see the tears shimmering in his eyes as he whispered what she was certain were the exact words he had left on the message.

She'd never gotten the message, but in the face of his obvious pain Emma cast that thought away. There were various reasons, none of which mattered in the face of what it revealed. He had tried. She was still pissed that he hadn't told her from the very beginning, but when it got bad he had tried to turn to her. He certainly wasn't off the hook, no pun intended, but his obvious remorse and guilt went a long way to cooling her anger.

Killian gathered himself for a moment before continuing the story, appreciating that she was giving him time to tell this the way he needed to. He really did want to tell her all, needed to fully unburden himself and demonstrate that his trust in her wasn't just empty words, but he was still feeling a bit raw from having his heart returned to him, and with it the swirling burning emotions that had been absent. And bringing up all the things he had buggered up to the woman he most wanted to be proud of him was making it even harder for him to keep his emotions under control.

He finally took several deep breaths, bottling everything for the moment, and continued in an almost flat voice. He told of arriving at the mansion and being prevented from entering, about their chat and his cocky comments when the hat's glow died.

Emma felt the ice flow through her veins when he revealed the ultimate irony; even if he hadn't put himself in the crocodile's sights with all his taunting, it would still have been his heart taken. Things still might have gone exactly the same.

Emma listened quietly as Killian finished his story, as he told her everything from after Gold took his heart up through this morning, but she couldn't hold her silence when he finally explained what Gold's master plan had actually been. "He was trying to separate himself from the dagger?"

"Aye, he believed that if he could do that, he would be able to leave Storybrooke and still retain his magic. Although he never shared with me how exactly that worked." Killian answered. "So he was going to leave town, and he planned to take Belle and Henry with him."

It had been hard enough for Emma to not jump on that when he first mentioned it, and the repetition caused her to blurt out, "And tell them what?"

"I've no idea." Killian answered, "But we both know he would have spun some web of lies or magic."

Emma shook her head. "The fact that you managed to not bring Henry to him..."

"I would have had to eventually, love." Killian admitted. "The fact that I had previous orders to never be witnessed carrying out any of his commands was what did it, allowed me to delay even though there no longer seemed a need for secrecy. Although in retrospect had I brought Henry to him you might have figured things out sooner."

"Which would have forced Gold's hand before Belle had whatever revelation it was that led her to the tower and the real dagger." Emma countered. "Everything worked out, and maybe it wouldn't have if things had gone differently. Things could have gone even worse, but..." She had listened to his story mostly without comment, other than to clarify something, bottling the pain and anger until she had heard everything, feeling some of it melting away under his obvious remorse. He had long ago earned the benefit of the doubt, but now that she had heard everything she couldn't help her tone turning harder as she added, "But Killian... why in the world didn't you tell me back when you still could?"

"I was ashamed of what I'd done, love." He admitted, knowing she had to have already heard that in his voice as he recounted things. "You've forgiven me for so much, and reminded me of the man I used to be, of the one I want to be again. I'd already disappointed myself, and I didn't want to disappoint you too."

Even through the anger fueled by hurt that he hadn't trusted her, the near broken tone of his last sentence registered, and caused her to gentle her tone. "People don't change overnight, I know that. I get that. You've been patient with me while I worked through all the crap in my past, and you should have known I'd be the same with you."

"You shouldn't have to be though, love, there's enough on you already."

Something in his eyes told her that was the crux of it, even more than the shame, and she said softly, "After all you've done for me, after all we've been through together... Killian, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you. And I know you're old-fashioned, but it's okay to let me be the strong one sometimes. To depend on me the same way I do on you."

"It's nothing to do with me being the man, love, you've proven more than once that you can take care of yourself. But you've already the weight of the whole town on you, and I never want to add to your burdens. You were already dealing with so much, and I truly thought I could handle it on my own." His eyes were burning with sincerity. "Once I knew I couldn't, realized the true danger...I tried to call you when I realized what the crocodile intended for you, left the message I already told you of, but he erased it. And then he had my heart and it was too late."

"You're not a burden." She whispered without thought, much of the hurt at him not telling her melting away at the sincerity of his response. It wasn't that he hadn't trusted her to help him, it wasn't even the shame at what he'd done or his fear that he'd lose her - for though he hadn't said it out loud Emma knew that had been there as well. It had been that he didn't want to be a freaking burden, didn't want her to worry about him when she already had so much else on her plate. "Part of being together is dealing with things together. Killian, you gave up your home for me, you've proven time and again that I can depend on you, no matter the cost, and..."

"I didn't do that to make you beholden..."

"I know that." Emma cut him off at once. "I'm not thinking of this in terms of I owe you anything and you know it. I would have helped you, forgiven you, for the exact same reason you've always helped me, and forgiven me."

Killian's breath caught in his throat at her implied meaning. She had to know that he loved her, that everything he had done for her since Neverland, everything he had risked and given up, had been because of that love and devotion. "Emma..."

She cut him off again, trying to trample down the slight panic at the look he was now giving her, "I'm still mad at you, and hurt, but... I can understand why you did what you did. But I need you to swear to me, look in my eyes and swear to me, that you'll never keep anything like this from me again. I wasn't lying the other week when I said I trusted you, Killian, but this is the second time you've done something like this, and..."

"And there won't be a third time." He promised, sincerity again burning through his eyes as they held hers. "I'll swear it however you like."

"You just did." She whispered. "And Killian - it's as much for you as for me; both times you've done this have almost gotten you killed. And I can't... Remember how I told you that I can't..."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, either." Killian said gently when she trailed off, tears shimmering in her eyes. He rose to his feet then, using their joined hands to tug her up as well and pull her into his arms, holding her in a way that just hadn't been possible when they were seated side by side. "I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry, for everything, but most of all for making you worry you would lose me, and I don't mean just to Davey Jones's locker. I was avoiding you as much as possible, knowing he could learn your plans through me, and I can't imagine what that made you think."

"I was thankfully busy enough that I didn't have much time to consider the worst." Emma said softly, pulling her head off of his shoulder to look into his eyes again. Eyes that were once again brimming with so much emotion she wondered how she had ever not known something was wrong from just his eyes alone.

"I'll never leave your side by choice, love." Killian said softly, his hand coming up to cup her cheek even as his hook pressed against her back, seeking to once again eliminate any space between their bodies. "I'll be there in whatever way you'll have me for as long as you'll have me."

His voice was soft and serious, yet Emma couldn't help the smirk that rose to her lips as the words echoed in her head in a teasing, innuendo filled voice that was always matched by a certain sparkle in his too expressive eyes. Her pulse was racing from his closeness, from the way he was holding her and gazing at her as if she was his whole world. She needed a moment to think, to decide if she could deal with the promise underlying his words. So she brightened her smirk and chirped, "Whatever way I'll have you, love?"

He grinned, as he always did when she tried to imitate his accent, and couldn't help the awe from filling his eyes at her playful tone. After everything he had admitted, all the mistakes and poor judgements he had just told her of, she was acting as if she had completely forgiven him.

Killian knew she hadn't, knew that as she said that would take time, knew the anger and hurt were still there and would likely bubble up at odd moments, but he also knew something even more important. He knew that she wasn't going to run away because of this. He knew she was still willing to give him a chance to prove that he could be the man they both knew he was underneath hundreds of mistakes.

He feathered his fingers over her neck, taking a steadying breath as he watched her eyes widen from just that light touch. He leaned in as if to kiss her, sliding his lips over her cheek at the last second, inhaling the sweet scent of Emma even as he whispered in her ear, "Oh, absolutely whatever way, my love."

Emma froze, realizing her ployed had turned on her. _My love_. She'd wanted a moment to think, to decide if she was ready for the implied commitment of him saying he'd never leave her side. _My love. _Instead, he had taken her openness as a willingness for him to be the same. _My love. _Although she had recently admitted to herself that she heard the extra caress on the word when he called her love, as opposed to when he used the term with other women, this was completely different. Two letters. Two words. So much closer to the three words she both dreamed of hearing and was irrationally terrified of. _My love._

"Emma." Killian felt her tense and knew the reason at once, pulling back to look searchingly into her eyes. He saw the battle between fear and trust, but it had been a deliberate word choice on his part and not a slip. She had told him to trust in what they had together, and as much as he appreciated her trying to lighten the mood a little, he didn't want to go any longer without at least trying to say the words that had been singing through his heart since the moment she put it back into his chest.

"Killian, I don't know if..."

"You do know." He interrupted gently, playing his fingers lightly through her hair, the soothing touch calming them both. "I'll not say the words if that is your wish, nor would I expect them back if you allowed me to say them, but you know. You have to."

Dozen of memories flashed through her mind, from his utter sincerity that he wouldn't have betrayed her if she hadn't turned on him first, to Echo Cave where he'd actually come closer than any other time to saying the words. Knowing him so much better now, and how in some ways he was as broken as she was, gave her new respect for the courage it had taken to make himself that vulnerable before her.

She saw again the disappointment in New York, when he'd tried to break the spell on her with a kiss, and remembered that how even thinking that meant she didn't love him he had still done everything in his power to make her remember so she could save her family.

She got lost in the memories then.

The utter devotion in his eyes when they had danced back in the Enchanted Forest, his kindness and understanding when she thought her mother was dead, and later as she watched her parents fall in love. His faith in her restoring her magic even as he helped her realize she had found her home, and the utter perfection of the kiss outside Granny's. The terror and despair she'd heard in his voice when she was nearly frozen to death, and the sweetness and attentiveness in the hours it took her to warm up. Their date, and his eyes when he'd first seen her in her dress. The way just his voice when he called could make her smile. How he randomly brought her coffee when she was working long hours. The way he laced their fingers together, and how his arms felt like the safest place in the world. How kissing him erased everything else from her mind.

"Emma." He'd been watching her eyes change for nearly a minute now, trying to give her the time she needed even as he wondered what the bloody hell she was thinking about that was causing her eyes to start to soften and nearly glow. He'd actually half-expected her to panic or run, even been prepared to backstep slightly if need be, but the depth of the feelings he could see welling up in her was slowly causing his blood to heat and his hopes to rise.

She blinked rapidly, pulled out of her thoughts by the anxiousness in his voice, and she shifted to raise her arms from where they had been around his waist, linking them around his shoulders, fingers playing lightly through the short hairs on the back of his neck. "I know. I _do_ know. I think I just need a little more time to believe it. And to believe that it's what I feel too. And when I do, when it doesn't scare me to say it, that's when I'll be able to hear it."

Killian smiled gently, sliding his fingers out of her hair to cup her cheek once again. "As long as you know." Just the vulnerability she had displayed in admitting that to him was a huge step forward, and Killian wasn't going to risk anything that would make her worry he was pushing for more. Because he wasn't. She'd just given him so much more than his darker dreams had made him fear was possible.

Her answer was to smile, and lean into him to kiss him gently. "I'm still mad at you for being an idiot, though." She whispered against his lips as she pulled back.

He chuckled at the gentle delivery as much as the words, but then answered seriously, "I've promised I'll never keep anything from you again."

"And you're now innocent until proven guilty."

Killian couldn't help but chuckle again, part of it in marvel at the level of understanding between them. She'd always been an open book to him in most ways, but he hadn't realized just how easily she could read him in return. She knew what his word meant to him, was finally beginning to accept what _she_ meant to him, and so now that he had promised she would trust him again, absolutely, until he gave her a reason not to.

At least she would try to. Killian knew what broken trust was like, he understood what she was trying to say even as he knew that she would doubt him at times. He'd certainly given her ample reason to in the past.

He vowed to himself to never give her a reason again.

"How did I get so lucky, my love?" He tested the words again. She hadn't told him not to say them, and just that much was another huge step between them.

She didn't freeze this time, but smiled softly even as a blush rose to her cheeks. "You understood me."

Killian felt his heart clench, and he quickly closed the sliver of space between them as he caught her lips in a heated kiss.

Emma melted into him at once, her one hand tightening in his hair even as her other slid to his shoulder for support. His hand was once again in her hair, his hook firm against her back as he pushed their hips together, increasing the heat spreading between them.

Their lips clashed together, tongues fighting a primal duel, and when soft moans began to fill the room neither was certain which of them they were coming from.

"Gods, love, I never want to let you go." Killian whispered when they finally broke for air, foreheads tilted together, still locked together in the embrace that had sent heat flooding through both their bodies.

"Then don't." Emma suggested lightly, teasingly, but at the moment it actually sounded like a wonderful idea. Those frozen seconds she had had to imagine her life without him flooded back into her head, and not letting go sounded like the most perfect thought she had ever had. A kaleidoscope of moments flashed through her mind again, each one showing the depth of his feelings and devotion to her. There was nothing between them in this moment, not after he'd confessed all and she'd come as close to admitting her feelings as she could.

He'd been showing her his love in dozens of ways ever since Echo Cave, and Emma wanted more than anything in this moment to do the same. The last of her walls fell away, dissolving under the depth of her feelings for this perfectly imperfect man, and she whispered his name brokenly before kissing him again.

Everything felt so completely right as his hand slid down her back, fingers dancing over her hip before his thumb slid up under her shirt, tracing small circles on the bare skin he found there. Emma gasped as the small action created a seemingly disproportionate rush of heat that flooded through her, and the kiss deepened as their arms tightened simultaneously, seeking to erase the already miniscule distance between them. Emma didn't even register that they were slowly shifting their feet until she felt her back hit the wall as his hand and hook slid to her hips.

His hand slid up her side in a blaze of heat, fingers twining through her hair as she had noticed he loved to do, and then all rational thought slid away as his hand slid further up to cup her breast. Emma gasped as he played his thumb over her teasingly, breaking the kiss with a moan as she arched into his touch without a second thought.

Yet even as she moaned she felt his hand leave her, sliding down to clench her hip bitingly for an instant before stilling completely. He dropped a final kiss on the corner of her mouth even as they both gasped for breath, then dropped his forehead to rest on her shoulder. She could feel him rebuilding his control, feel him shudder as he reined himself in. He finally drew back enough for their eyes to meet, and it was her turn to shudder at the barely contained desire, love, and utter adoration that she could see.

"I should really walk you home now, love, or wherever it is that you need to be." Killian's voice was still breathless, but achingly gentle.

Emma could see in his eyes what the offer cost him, could feel how desperately he wanted and needed her right now. Yet she knew why he was offering; she could feel how tentative his control still was. He would be happy with just her company, but didn't trust himself alone with her. He was a gentlemen who had promised her things would move at her speed, and he didn't trust himself to honor that at the moment.

He'd asked earlier how he was lucky enough to have found her, and she now found herself wondering the exact same thing about him.

He was yet again putting her first, but didn't know that she was done being afraid, done running. He didn't know that the broken heart his love had been slowly healing was finally whole enough to take this next step.

He didn't know that the lost girl who was always afraid of people abandoning her finally believed that there was one man who never would.

He was the first man who had ever come back for her.

He was the man who had given up his own home so that she could find hers, and for even the chance that they could make one together.

He'd risked his life for her time and again, and risked loving her when he had known just how damaged she was, just how easily she could hurt him without even trying.

Killian had risked loving again, even knowing how much the loss could hurt, and had proven to her that she had the courage to do the same. That what they could have was worth the risk.

Emma let her own desire fill her eyes as she whispered, "Or I could just stay here."

TBC...

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><p>AN2: Feel free to ignore this, as it's nothing really to do with the story, but when I get multiple comments on a certain thing I like to explain my thinking on it.<p>

So after the previous part, I had numerous comments on the fact that I had Emma say she believed the hand was cursed. That was actually totally in character as far as I thought, she even explained her reasoning, and it didn't reflect my own beliefs.

That being said, I do believe the hand was cursed. (Fans are split on this)

Here's my reasoning:

It could have been psychosomatic, Gold planting the idea in his head that it was cursed and that idea (combined with anxiety over making the date perfect) making him react that way.

The problem I have with that is the beating up of Will after the date- we've never seen that kind of rage in Killian, or that kind of loss of control, even when he was more of a bad guy. Gold said the hand contained the darkness of who he used to be, but this was way worse than anything we'd ever seen from Killian. (And yes, we haven't seen his entire past obviously, but we can only go off what we've seen) It was that scene that convinced me the hand was really cursed - and then Gold telling him at the end that it wasn't actually made me think more strongly that it was, because Gold loves to torture Killian and he would know that telling him the hand wasn't actually cursed and the darkness was all him would be about the worst thing he could do to the man.

I'm not writing this to start a debate or to try to convince anyone, only to explain my own thinking on the matter.

Yet independent of all that, I still think Emma would believe it was cursed, for the reasons given in the story.


	7. 7

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: A very short update, sorry, but I'm trying to decide how far beyond this I want to go, and exactly what points I still feel I should wrap up. I'm def getting everyone out of the hat, but I'm not sure what to do beyond that. Any suggestions for what you'd like to see? (I may eventually write an M rated one-shot detailing after the end of this part, but that will not be part of this story. My muse isn't in the mood for writing smut at the moment, lol, and I want to keep this story T rated.)

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

_Last time: Emma let her own desire fill her eyes as she whispered, "Or I could just stay here."_

Chapter 7:

Killian tried to remind himself that he was normally a fairly articulate man, he even prided himself on it, yet the rush of adrenaline that normally kick-started his mind and his wits completely paralyzed them both on this occasion.

When he finally managed to speak all he could manage was her name, and he wasn't sure if hope or disbelief was more prevalent in his tone.

Emma smiled softly, "No one really slept last night, even after the spell broke, and I'm sure most of the town is crashed by now. No one will miss me for an hour or two."

"Only an hour or two?" Killian raised an eyebrow, smirking outwardly even though his mind was still spinning. Although he wanted this closeness more than anything, their relationship had never been about what he wanted. And he worried that this sudden change in her was for all the wrong reasons, and that she would regret it if they went through with what she was so clearly suggesting.

"Well, we'll definitely need sleep by that point as well." Emma grinned back at him, her fingers slowly unbuttoning the collar of his shirt. She looked up into his eyes then, feeling the hand on her hip clench even as the rest of him went still. "Killian... what..."

"Don't take this as me not wanting this, love, because..." Killian leaned to kiss her deeply, passionately, but broke the kiss before they could lose themselves in it. "Because it would quite literally be a dream come true. Hopefully the first of many. But..."

"It's not because you almost died." Emma once again read exactly what was bothering him.

She couldn't begin to describe her thought process to him, wasn't nearly sappy enough to describe all the memories of him that told her this was the time and place. That told her he would never voluntarily leave her. How she knew that if they were separated, which with their lives was almost a given, he would always come back for her. She couldn't begin to put into words the hundred reasons large and small that she trusted him, despite his mistakes.

"You're certain of that?" He looked almost pained with himself, and Emma easily understood why. If she'd had a single doubt that he was a gentleman, or that she could trust his word, it would have vanished as he valiantly tried to make certain that she wouldn't regret this in the morning. Or afternoon. Night? God, she was exhausted.

But there really was something she wanted more than sleep at the moment, and so she gave him what she could. "Well, maybe that was the final straw, but... but you told me once to take a leap of faith, and I think this is it. I think you... I think us... I want to forget about everything in the past, either of our pasts. A fresh start. I want to forget about everything else and just be with you."

The mix of longing and conviction in her voice was almost his undoing, and the heat in her eyes caused him to lean in to kiss her nearly reflexively. Briefly, but deeply and passionately. The look in her eyes when he drew back almost dropped him to his knees in a punch of both admiration and nerves, but did clear his head just enough for him to answer her.

"If there's the slightest chance you'll say this was a one time thing..." Killian almost believed her, and so he allowed his voice to turn teasing.

"I'll never hear the end of that one, will I?" Emma grimaced slightly before replying softly, "I won't say it. It would be as much a lie now as it was then."

Killian smiled softly, "If this was going to be a one time thing it would have happened long before this."

Emma's eyebrows rose in protest in the second it took her to realize what he meant. Their first kiss had been born out of challenge, out of heightened emotions and days of frustration, out of teasing that went too far and desire that had been too long suppressed.

The physical desire had been there from damn near the start, even when Emma hadn't been sure she liked him, to say nothing of trusting him. But it had been there, and if there hadn't been more simmering underneath they could have simply had a one night stand and been done with it. Walsh aside, that had pretty much been Emma's standard ever since Neal left her. It hadn't been a common occurrence, but it had happened. Just casual, fun, no commitments and no complications. Just two ships passing in the night, as her pirate had once put it.

But Emma had known that with him it could be so much more. The way he'd seen right through her on the beanstalk, easily reading her better after a few hours than most people could do after months. She'd seen the empathy in his eyes, known when he'd realized that she was an orphan, and that she had lost a love, that the same were true of him as well. She'd sensed what could be between them.

So, true to form, she had been terrified and run like hell.

But she was done running.

Neal had been the last man she imagined this way. The last man she had ever trusted with both her body and her heart. The last who had ever understood her. The last person she both had a past and could imagine a future with.

"Lass, you're trembling." Killian drew her away from the wall, concern obvious in his voice as he held her gently against him, his hand stroking over her hair.

"It's different, when it matters." It was all she could get out, but she felt as much as heard his immediate sigh and felt him brush a kiss over her temple.

Killian knew exactly what she was saying, not only from understanding her but from knowing it for himself. And it had been so much longer for him since it mattered. "Nothing matters more."

It wasn't just the physical act he referred to, and as he'd pulled back enough to gaze into her eyes before speaking she could see in his eyes that he understood her perfectly. That they were on exactly the same page.

But although she wasn't scared anymore, she was still nervous. Nervous like she hadn't been since her first time. She could see it in his eyes as well, and realized one of the reasons he understood was that it was much the same for him, multiplied by decades.

"So let's try this again." She held his eyes, letting him see the trust and heat in her own. She took a single step back, hitting the wall, pulling his hook to her hip and his hand to high on her side, just shy of where it had been before he stopped them before. "I could stay here."

His eyes heated again at the look in hers, and this time he didn't hesitate. His lips covered hers even as his hand slid up to cup her once again, his hips pinning hers to the wall and causing the fire to race through both their bodies.

And then they were lost in each other.

TBC...


	8. 8

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: So as an apology for the short last part, and to whet your anticipation for the eventual lemon stand-alone, this part is still way CS-ey. In fact this was one of those chapters where they were talking in my head and all I really had to do was listen (and keep them T). The way the story is running now I should finish up right around the time the hiatus ends. Thanks once again to all who favorited and reviewed, I'm glad this story is being enjoyed.

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 8:

Emma was curled against his chest with her head on his shoulder, one hand resting over his heart as if even in sleep she needed to be reassured that it was back where it belonged.

Their legs were tangled together, and Killian nuzzled his cheek slightly into her hair even as his fingers trailed lightly up and down her back. He was careful not to wake her, but he couldn't stop touching her, couldn't stop feeling the mix of wonder and disbelief that he was allowed to have this. The most amazing woman he'd ever known was currently sleeping in his arms, satisfied and soft, warm and still bare against him. The most beautiful woman he'd ever known had made love with him, and had trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms.

The last woman to sleep in his arms had been Milah, as he had never wanted any of the wenches he brought back to the Jolly to stay the night.

The pirate had always said he didn't trust them not to steal the various treasures displayed in his cabin; the man knew he didn't want them to see him without the hook. The gentleman knew that sleeping with someone was indescribably more intimate than shagging them, and hadn't wanted that with anyone until now.

But with Emma it had seemed the most natural thing in the world to let her help him remove his hook with the same mix of care and anticipation that she had the rest of his clothes. The same mix of tenderness and passion. The kiss she'd lain on the stump of his wrist had nearly made his newly-restored heart implode.

And although he suspected it was relatively uncharted territory for her as well, since Baelfire if he had to wager a guess, neither of them had shifted away when they finally came down from their euphoria, bodies still too warm and sweaty but needing to be as close as they could be. Needing to stay connected.

She'd held him above her for long moments after they toppled over the peak, arms tightening around his back, nails digging into his shoulders slightly and causing him to shudder when he'd murmured in a still husky voice that he didn't want to crush her.

Her whispered "Stay with me" had made his own arms tighten, heart aching that even with everything they had been through together there was even the slightest doubt in her mind that he would stay.

He'd squeezed her tightly for a moment, wishing she was ready for the words it had been so hard to hold back as he slid into her, as they lost themselves in each other. But she had said she wasn't ready yet, and so he had simply whispered back, "Always," before kissing her lightly and sweetly.

They mostly had their breath back by the time she finally released him, letting him roll to lay on his back and dealing with removing the sheath -keeps me from getting pregnant, I'll explain later- as easily as she had put it on. Then she had curled back into him, letting out a deep sigh of contentment before almost immediately relaxing into sleep.

Killian had been awake for just as long as she had been, and hadn't had a good night's sleep since the crocodile had taken his heart. Yet although he was exhausted, he couldn't bear to lose a second of this quiet moment to sleep.

He'd dreamed of this for well over a year, risked his life and traded his home for the chance of what he knew they could be to each other. For a chance at what her parents had. For the chance that true love could heal the brokenness in each of them. He hadn't really been teasing earlier when he said he never wanted to let her go, and he didn't want to sleep when he could watch her and relive the last few hours in his head.

Her face was relaxed, all the worries she normally bore gone for the moment, and she looked both younger and more radiant than he had thought possible. He smiled softly as she shifted in his arms, starting to wake, and he didn't hesitate to use his scarred wrist to brush away the hair that had slid over her face when she moved.

"Mmmm." Emma hummed out as her face shifted into his touch, head tilting enough to kiss his wrist gently. "So it wasn't a dream."

Killian chuckled softly as his fingers continued to play over her back, his heart swelling at the simple display of affection she made seem so easy now. And at the trust they both knew it took for him to let himself be touched that way.

He kissed her forehead tenderly before whispering, "Well it was, love, but thankfully not the way you're meaning."

Emma hummed in agreement even as she shifted to lay half on top of him, arms angled over his chest, dropping a light kiss over his heart before resting her chin on her hands. She could see the caution in his eyes that wasn't at all evident in his relaxed body and warm voice, and she smiled gently as she tilted down and kissed over his heart again. "I'm not running, I don't regret it, and it wasn't a one time thing." Her voice was barely a whisper, but Emma saw the love swirl through his eyes, replacing everything else, and felt his hand tighten on her hip even as she leaned down to kiss him softly.

"I've confessed everything, I'll never lie or keep things from you again, and..." Lost in the moment, in the warmth and intimacy and understanding between them, Killian's mouth snapped shut before he could finish the thought he'd had too many times.

"And?" Emma's head tilted slightly, confused when he cut off and wondering what he had been about to say.

Killian flushed slightly. "When you asked me earlier to swear to never lie to you again, I'd already sworn it to myself. The night after the crocodile took my heart, I promised myself three things if I survived. I would confess everything to you, I would always be honest with you in the future, and I would tell you that... well, I would tell you what I show you every day."

Now the slight caution was in her eyes. "We already..."

"Talked about that, I know." He offered her a small smile, his hand leaving her hip to card through her hair. "I'm sorry, but the three have been so connected in my head for days now that I wasn't thinking. Don't worry about it, love, just forget I said anything. I'm perfectly content just to have you in my arms and my bed."

Emma chuckled at his attempt to lighten the mood, and kissed him softly. "You did prove you know what to do with a woman on her back." He'd more than proven it, but his ego didn't need to get too much larger.

Killian actually cringed slightly, remembering both that line and another one he wasn't particularly proud of, about her feeling it when he jabbed her with his sword. "I may have been a bit upset with you at the time, Swan, a gentlemen doesn't speak such to a lady."

She only giggled - and that was a sound he didn't think he would ever tire of hearing. "I don't mind that you're not always the perfect gentlemen." Emma whispered in his ear before trailing her lips softly across his cheek and kissing him gently. "Sometimes I want the pirate."

His body tensed a second before he dragged her back into a bruising kiss, his hand fisting in her hair to tilt her head and deepen it.

They only came up for air because Emma's cell phone started ringing.

Normally she would have said screw it and dove back under the covers with him, but there had been too much going on lately for that. He obviously understood, for he released her at once, falling back to the bed and breathing deeply even as she scrambled for her coat and the phone in its pocket.

Killian propped the pillows up behind him, not bothering to straighten the covers she had pulled back climbing out of bed. He eyed her blatantly as she bent over to grab her phone, once again feeling the amazement and wonder bubble through him that this was his life now.

She was only slightly breathless as she answered, "Mom, hi."

Her eyes widened as she turned back to the bed, flushing at his caressing eyes even as her own took him in. She flushed even more, yet didn't hide herself from him, instead crossing slowly back to the bed and again curling up against his chest. "Yeah, Killian found Belle and she's safe. She forced Gold to leave town."

Killian pulled the covers back around them and resumed stroking her back gently, hearing Snow's loud reaction through the phone although not her exact words.

"I know." Emma responded to her mother's amazement even as she settled back into Killian's embrace. "Belle said she'll talk to us in the morning. Killian told me more about the box Gold was using, I'll explain tomorrow but just keep it really safe and we'll need Regina's help with it. Yeah, Henry's with her now."

Killian let his fingers play with her hair as she arranged with her mother for everyone to meet at the loft in the morning for breakfast. He forced himself to stay relaxed as he heard Snow ask Emma when she'd be home, yet couldn't help but hold his breath when Emma paused briefly before saying softly, "I'll be home in the morning. I'll bring Killian and Belle, so if you could just call Regina and Henry that'd be great."

There was a short pause, and Killian could feel Emma holding her breath as well before Snow whispered, "Are you happy?"

Emma chuckled almost awkwardly, her eyes shining with emotion as they met his. He was reminded of how she had looked at him in the godforsaken vault in the past, when she'd told him that Storybrooke was her home. That she and Henry belonged with her family even as the look in her eyes said that he could be part of that as well, just as she had offered him what seemed like so long ago. "Yeah, mom. We're happy."

He could tell it was a deliberate word choice on her part, and he kissed her forehead lightly before gasping as her fingers slid over his hip before beginning to play with him teasingly. It took all his control to remain silent as Emma smiled at whatever Snow's reply was before saying goodbye to her, confirming an eight o'clock breakfast.

Which meant she had just arranged things so that they had more than a dozen hours alone together, beyond what they had already shared.

His breath caught when she leaned down to kiss his chest again even as she hung up the phone and tossed it randomly onto the floor. Her hands slid to his hips as she kissed her way down his chest, following the line of hair and teasingly scratching her nails down before her mouth. "Love, you don't..."

She nipped at his stomach reprovingly before turning hot eyes up to meet his. "You don't think I've dreamed of this the same way you have?" Her eyes, which were currently the bright green of spring moss, twinkled at him mischievously. Her tongue swirled around his belly button a second later, causing his breath to catch. "I even dreamed of you when I still thought of you as just a pirate." She whispered the last calmly, as if he didn't understand just how far her walls had fallen for her to admit that.

He couldn't help the grin that rose to his face; she'd shown earlier that she was a generous lover, not that he'd expected anything else from a woman who always put others before herself. He almost let her words pass at face value, but there was something in her eyes that made him pause for a second, made him look harder, and then ask carefully, "Do you want the gentlemen or the pirate, my love?" Although his grin transitioned to a full smirk as he asked, he let her see the seriousness in his eyes, let her know he thought he knew what she wanted but as always would let her call the shots.

"I just want you." She smirked back even as she kissed her way down the V of his hips. "You've already shown me the gentlemen. Show me the pirate."

His grin was nearly feral for an instant, then she saw something move through his eyes and his hand stroked lightly over her hair. "Call me Hook then, love, and that's who you'll get. Call me Killian and the same will happen."

Her eyes widened as she understood what he was doing, as she understood the out he was giving her without making it seem like that was what he was doing. She should have realized a man as experienced as he was would understand what she was asking for, and that he knew how to play the game. "Then give me your full and prompt attention, Hook."

His eyes flashed as he remembered the words, and his hand tightened in her hair as he pulled her to his body, although still with a gentleness that no longer surprised her.

"Then give me yours, Swan."

OoOoOoOoOoO

He'd helped her dress when they finally couldn't delay getting up any longer, something she found sweet once she got over the strangeness of it. He'd only chuckled at the surprise on her face, reminding her that if her bodice when they were in the past hadn't laced up the front, she would have needed his help then as well. It made sense when she thought about it that way, some of the fashions she'd seen in the Enchanted Forest on her trips there had certainly required assistance to get into. Just another old-fashioned habit that was so much a part of who he was.

She'd called Belle the night before while he showered, apologizing for not leaving her in peace but needing to make sure the princess would be okay talking to everyone at once in the morning, not just her. Belle had agreed in a small voice, the same small voice she had greeted them with when they stopped at her room a few minutes ago on the way to Snow's. There were deep circle's under her eyes, but Belle's face was calm as she walked silently beside them.

Emma took a deep breath before opening the door to the loft, feeling a twinge of guilt for the tiny part of her that was glad they were still in mop-up mode, and that would distract her parents from the fact that she had spent the night with Killian. She wasn't ashamed of it in any way, but if David and Snow had been sitting on the couch waiting for her the way they had been when she came back from that first date, well, that was one awkward parent-child moment she was eternally grateful to have missed.

She knew her mother well enough to know that the single question over the phone last night wouldn't be the end of it, but she was glad of the delay all the same when Henry ran from the kitchen to hug her the second she walked in. David followed, hugging her briefly before giving Killian a hard look which Killian met before both men nodded slightly to each other. He turned to Belle then, taking her coat before leading her into the kitchen.

They gathered around the table once greetings were exchanged, chatting briefly about the food and complimenting Snow and Regina. It was slightly awkward, as if no one wanted to be the one to ruin what was essentially their first family dinner since the latest crisis.

Emma knew she would have to be the one to bite the bullet and took a deep breath, surprised when Killian dropped his fork and reached over to squeeze her hand. "Allow me, love."

The quiet interaction made everyone else pause, and it was Killian's turn to take a deep breath as all eyes focused on him. "I'll apologize for not thinking of this last night." His eyes slid to Belle before moving around the table. "But I promised Belle that I would tell her the... Rumpelstiltskin's plans only when she wanted, and only as much as she wanted. If she doesn't want to hear this now, she can simply tell us what she wanted to say, and then we can enjoy this lovely repast. An hours delay will make no difference."

Belle met his eyes when they ended on her, and she offered him a small, trembling smile. "I think the longer I wait, the harder it will get. Just, just tell us everything. And then I'll tell the end."

Her voice broke on the final word, and Snow immediately leaned over to put an arm around her.

Killian nodded, smiling at Emma softly when he felt her hand come to rest on his thigh in silent support. He started his story exactly the same way as he had with her, although everyone else would not be privy to some of the details and emotions he had told her of. "As soon as we heard that Belle had been given the dagger..."

TBC...


	9. 9

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: We're coming up on the end now everyone, should be only one or two more parts after this depending on how things go. I'm working my hardest to get this done before the season starts up again. Thanks once again to all who have favorited and followed and reviewed, you guys always make my day! For your enjoyment this time more CS cuteness, along with the understanding growing between Killian and Snow.

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><p><span>Picking Up The Pieces<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces." _

_OoOoOoO_

Chapter 9:

"Well, check another thing off the list." Emma sighed as she closed the door behind Belle, Regina, and Henry nearly two hours later. "At least if they can figure it out."

David had left a bit before Henry and the women after receiving a call from Leroy about some overzealous citizens who had decided that with Gold kicked out of town now would be the time to loot his shop. Thankfully, Snow had thought of that last night and had left the dwarves on guard. They'd keep everyone out until David got there to disperse the mob. Emma had offered to go with, but he'd said he would handle it, that she should stay and finish talking. Snow could fill him in on anything he missed, and had the same opinions he did on most things anyway.

They would probably eventually let people reclaim things that had once been theirs, but not until Regina had time to go over the place with a magical fine-toothed comb, clearing out anything that might be magic and therefore possibly dangerous.

Which knowing Gold was probably half the damn shop.

For now Regina had promised to shield the building on the way to her house, where her, Belle, and Henry were going to pour over her books trying to find a way to extract the fairies, the old man who apparently owned the manor house, and for all they knew maybe others.

"They'll find a way, love." Killian said softly, smiling gently at her when she wandered over to sit beside him on the couch, their fingers unconsciously sliding together. "And having something important to concentrate on might be exactly what they need at the moment."

"And they'll both be on their best behavior with Henry there." Snow chimed in as she left the kitchen, refilling coffee cups before settling into the chair across from them.

"Yeah." Emma sighed as she shook her head. "Have to admit, I never thought I'd see the two of them working together like this, even if it is for something as important as saving the fairies."

Killian squeezed her hand. "Belle has an amazing capacity for forgiveness, and for seeing the good in people. She may never forget what the Queen did to her, but she's not one to hold grudges. A fact I find myself particularly grateful for."

"She can see that Regina has changed. She can see how you've changed." Emma said softly, hearing the shame lightly coloring his voice. "Everyone can."

"Not everyone looks."

"The people that matter do." Emma retorted at once, although her voice was soft.

Their eyes met and held, and for a long moment everything else melted away as a look of gentle understanding passed between them. He could see the forgiveness in her eyes, and Killian was reminded of the the look in Snow's eyes the day before, when she'd given him and Emma her blessing, although not in so many words.

The thought made him clear his throat nervously before sliding his eyes over to the princess, who was only watching them with a small smile on her face and an almost wistful look in her eyes.

Emma followed his gaze, blushing at the look on her mother's face but not shifting away from Killian as she once would have. Whereas Killian seemed confused by the look on Snow's face, Emma understood it perfectly. It was the same look she got whenever she saw Henry completely and totally happy.

The silence was only slightly awkward before Snow said softly, "It's not so much a matter of changing, but of reverting. Regina wasn't always the Evil Queen, just as you weren't always Captain Hook."

Killian chuckled. "It might be easier to remind myself of that if someone other than Emma actually used my name." The words were soft and teasing, but both women could hear the lilt of challenge in his voice.

Snow smiled back at him, although with an odd hesitation blossoming in her eyes as she said softly, "I knew Regina for years before she became the Evil Queen, and I know what caused her to turn from love to revenge. It takes something devastating to turn someone like that."

She didn't come out and ask, but it seemed to Killian as if she was hinting for his history. He thought of all he'd told Emma about Milah a few weeks ago and wasn't sure if he was ready to tell that story again. She did already know the bare bones of it, but...

"Killian."

His head jerked up, thoughts blown off course as someone other than Emma spoke his name. Well, someone who didn't want to kill him. "Highness?"

It was Snow's turn to chuckle. She'd thought at first it was an affectation, but realized quickly that it was simply manners, what he called _good form. _And it was automatic, as were the courtly bows and other random gestures she sometimes noticed from him, now that he'd been letting more and more of his pirate persona drop. It was automatic enough that she knew he'd been part of, or at least associated with, one court or another at some point, which had made her incredibly curious.

If the man he'd shown himself to be over the past months was his true self, then how had he ever become a pirate? Her politeness had always overcome her curiosity before, but his openness with all of them today had made her think that maybe now was the time to ask.

But the anxiety in his eyes made her take a metaphorical step back and tease softly, "You can call me Snow, you know. I'm not a princess in this world, and I was never your princess anyway."

Killian's eyes flitted to Emma automatically, remembering his words to David and Snow in the past, years ago for her yet barely a few score days for him. Snow might or might not remember him calling Emma his princess, but that wasn't what she meant anyway. She meant that he hadn't been from her kingdom, well, what should have been her kingdom. Or would have been one day based upon his age.

"No, my ruler was a bloody arse who didn't deserve to live, let alone be a king."

The words were said with almost no emotion, yet Emma could hear threads of sorrow in his tone, could feel the shards of anger in the way his body tensed beside her. This was a part of his past he hadn't revealed to her yet either, and she leaned closer into his side almost unconsciously, seeking to comfort. He'd told her once that he'd become a pirate after his brother's death, but hadn't elaborated beyond that, and the pain in his eyes the first and only time he'd said Liam's name to her had made her never ask him for more.

Snow must have noticed his discomfort as well, for she started to apologize, but before she could get out more than a few words Neal began to cry. She rose at once, crossing the short distance to his crib even as she said, "He's still fussy after being sick yesterday, but right on schedule for his bottle." She started to move to the kitchen with him, then turned, her voice pitched to carry over Neal's cries but still gentle in tone, "I'm sorry, Killian. It's none of my business, nor is this the time."

"It's never really the right time for stories like this, but if you mean because we have other obligations, well..." Killian said softly.

"We don't, not really." Emma said softly, looking up from her phone. "David just texted, everything is under control with Gold's shop. And until we hear from Regina I'm not sure what else we can do. But that doesn't mean you have to..."

"I'll tell you, if you wish." Killian interrupted, his lips brushing over Emma's forehead in thanks for her support before he raised his eyes to meet Snow's. "Besides, it seems only fair. I've seen part of your past after all, nearly bloody ruined your life."

"That was more me." Emma whispered softly, raising her voice as Neal began fussing again. "Here, let me hold him while you heat up his bottle, it'll be faster."

Snow nodded, handing Neal off before resting her hand briefly on Killian's shoulder, causing his eyes to swing wildly up to her again. "You don't owe me the story. Not for that or any other reason." Her eyes flicked down to her daughter, who had shifted away from him just enough to rock her brother back and forth, and Killian understood her meaning at once.

"That's not..." He cleared his throat and started again. "This is my home now, and I know what opinion most hold of me. As much as I despise it, both you and your family are going to have people confronting you about me and, about me and Emma, and... and you should at least know the truth. You can tell Dave, and Henry, and whoever you want. I'll not try to excuse all I've done, but mayhaps you can at least understand how my descent began."

Snow's only answer to that was another smile, this one reaching her eyes. Then Neal let out another loud cry and she hurried into the kitchen to prepare a bottle.

Killian turned back towards Emma, a small smile gracing his face as he saw her twirling small balls of light through the air, trying to entertain her brother. But the smile died when he saw the anxiety swimming through her eyes, and conscious of the smallness of the loft and Snow in the kitchen, he whispered, "What's wrong, love?"

Emma shook her head as she stroked a finger over her brother's cheek. "It's nothing."

"Emma." His hand slid to rest lightly on her back. "I know it's not nothing. If you don't want to tell me that's fine, although I hope you know that..."

"It's not that." She answered softly as she looked over at him, the balls of light still twirling around Neal's head starting to falter. She took a deep breath and they steadied as she whispered, "I just thought of something, but this isn't the time or the place to talk about it."

Yet the conflict on her face was clear, whatever she had thought of was clearly bothering her.

"As you wish love, but we both tend to do better when we talk things out right away instead of letting them fester."

"It's just... I shouldn't be thinking about this after last night, but in some ways it made me think of it more, and..." Emma trailed off, finally deciding he was right. This would nag at her until they talked about it. She heard dishes rattling in the kitchen, and realized Snow was washing the breakfast dishes as she waited for the bottle to heat, meaning they had a few minutes at least. "Okay, this is horrible timing, but what you said about family, you're right. I'm not used to having to think about how my actions will affect those I care about, and, well, I have a favor to ask, and I hope you'll understand why I need to."

"You know you can ask anything of me, love," The teasing tone in his voice didn't match his serious eyes as he finished, "I seem to be quite unable to refuse you."

That brought a brief smile to her face, and the balls of light vanished as she rested her hand on his thigh. She felt him tense even as his breath caught, and a memory from the night before of lips and fingernails and... no, not helping right now. She saw it in his eyes as well, had been seeing flashes of it all morning, and wondered if it had been as hard for him to not touch her as it was for her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pushing the images back. Now that she'd started, she had to push through. "It's not for me, but for Henry."

"I already said I won't refuse you, lass." Killian's voice was completely sincere, and she saw again the control and patience in his eyes that had always let her know she was safe with him.

"Like I said I know this is horrible timing, but if we... if you and I don't work out..." She saw the fear and pain in his eyes and hurried to reassure him, "I don't want to think that way and I'm not planning on it so don't give me that look, but I need to say this."

He nodded hesitantly, confusion flicking through his eyes.

"Henry enjoys hanging out with you. I know you were teaching him the sword before... well, before everything went to hell. And I know how much he enjoys going sailing with you, and well... Okay, here's the thing. If we don't work out, for whatever reason, can you ease away from Henry? Give him time to adjust. He's never had..." Her lips clamped shut. Despite all the progress she had made emotionally, she still couldn't finish that thought, let along say it. "He's never had a man in his life the way you are right now, well, maybe the one that turned into a flying monkey, and David's great with him, but..."

"You should know that's a favor you don't have to ask, love." Killian answered softly, eyes widening in disbelief as he realized what she had been about to say before she edited herself. He hadn't entertained the idea of being a father since he'd lost young Bae, had in fact assumed he never would be. It was far from an unpleasant thought, but he knew he had to ignore it for the time being. "I like the lad, and the only way I'll stop spending time with him is if his mother will no longer allow me his company. I know what it's like to lose people."

"I know you do." Emma said at once, "And like I said it's not that I think it will happen or want it to, but... I'm sorry, I'm just feeling really overprotective and..."

"In the world we live in I'm not sure you can ever be protective enough." Killian soothed softly. "It's alright, love, a mother _should_ think of her child before anything else."

Emma heard an odd tone in his voice, and realized at once what had caused it. Realized what memories his last sentence would have brought up for him.

He saw the understanding in her eyes and offered her a small smile. "I loved Milah, but she was selfish, we both were. I didn't think on it much at the time, but I knew what it was like to grow up without a mother, and in retrospect I wish we had brought Bae with us from the beginning. Things would have been so different."

"Didn't we learn that different could be so much worse?" It was Emma's turn to sooth him. She understood his regrets, but from what he had told her if Milah hadn't run off with him it would have been someone else. It had been about adventure and attraction initially, the love hadn't come until later.

"Aye, that we did." He allowed softly as Snow walked back into the room, handing Emma the warmed bottle even as she noticed the somber mood.

"If I'm interrupting..." Snow let the sentence trail off questioningly.

"No, your high..." Killian paused as Snow raised an eyebrow pointedly at him, and he smirked as he corrected himself. "No, Snow, it's alright. I promised you a story, did I not? Although in two hundred years I've only told this story once, so I find myself unsure of where to begin. I'm not sure exactly what you want to know."

Snow smiled softly in understanding. "You taught Emma formal dances, and I've seen things in your mannerisms and speech as well. Were you a courtier?"

Killian chuckled. "Nothing so exalted. I was an officer in the royal navy; we were taught court manners and customs as we were often invited to balls, and of course officers were always supposed to conduct themselves as gentlemen, which a fair number of us had not grown up as."

"What kingdom?"

"It no longer exists, thankfully, but at the time I served under King Dalbhach." Killian's eyes grew hard, and he saw in Snow's face that she knew the name. Emma didn't, of course, her eyes flicking from one to the other as she waited for more of an explanation.

Killian opened his mouth to explain about the king, but stopped when Snow held up a hand, addressing herself to Emma, "Think of Hitler, only his Jews were centaurs, one of the most kind and honorable races."

Although a few of the words meant nothing to Killian, the way Emma's face hardened briefly before turning to him with sympathy told him that the point had been made.

Killian took a deep breath, grateful when Emma once again leaned against his shoulder comfortingly, all she could do with her brother in one hand and a bottle in the other. He looked down at Neal for a brief moment, gathering his thoughts as he remembered his own brother, before continuing on with the story of how he became a pirate.

TBC...

AN2: So I rewatched every single Killian flashback in "Good Form" (such a hardship, right? lol) and was annoyed to discover my memory was correct - their King is never named. He's only ever referred to as "the/our king." So yeah, I picked a name. As both Liam and Killian are Irish/Gaelic/Celtic names, I went with that. Dalbhach means guileful, which seems to fit. As for the centaurs, well, why not? Killian specifically says the king could use dreamshade to wipe out "an entire race," not a kingdom or his enemies, etc... And we've already got giants, ogres, mermaids, fairies, so why can't the EF have centaurs as well?


End file.
